A Light in the Dark
by Ravenwiccn
Summary: Ashlyn Cousland has lost everything she ever held dear.  Now she must try to survive her loss and becoming a Grey Warden.  Along the way she tries to rebuild what was taken from her.
1. Chapter 1

**I wrote this over a year ago to help me deal with the death of a dear family friend. It has been sitting on my computer and I have gone back a forth about putting it up. One of my reviewers on my story Bound by Compassion (My DA2 story about Hawke and Anders.) requested that I go into my Warden's story since she is a background character in it. So here it is and I hope you enjoy it. I do stray from the story line here and there to add my own spin to it. I have to put this in I own nothing it belongs to Bioware. Let me know what you think.**  
><strong>Raven <strong>

Ashlyn Cousland watched her home burn. Her entire family save her brother was now gone. Her life as she knew it was over. Revenge burned in her veins as she made silent swear that Arl Howe would pay for this. A gentle hand took her wrist and started to lead her away from her home. Part of her wanted to fight the hand off, but the other part of her knew she had a promise to uphold. She looked at her beloved father's sword and clutched it tight to her chest. His shield was slung on her back and her mother's prized ring adorned her finger. All she had left was things which she would have gladly given up just to have her family back. Ashlyn was no stranger to how cruel life could be. She had learned it first hand as a young maiden. Her heart broken not once, but twice by men who she would have died for. One of the men was the son of the monster who slaughtered her entire family. The other a commoner far below her station, but it did not matter to her. To her he was far better than the stuck up noble sons who begged for her hand. Now she was to become a Grey Warden and probably die fighting monsters in the south. Her savior walked beside her quietly. She was thankful for this as words failed her. The road to Ostagar was a long one.

"We should be to Ostagar in a day or two." Duncan's soft voice broke through her thoughts. She stopped suddenly and he eyed her with concern.

"Duncan may I ask a favor of you?" He nodded and she took a deep breath. "I may well be the last of my line if Howe's men found my brother. I would like if you would call me Raven and not acknowledge that I am of noble blood. If Howe thinks I am dead I might have a better chance of surviving to fight the Blight."

"Raven it is then, but there will be many nobles at the camp would they not know your face?"

"They would, but I have a way around that. I am not sure how much of my past you know about. I never voiced it to my family where I went for those three years I disappeared. I trained to become a assassin with a group here in Ferelden. I have learned how to hide who I am. If you will give me a moment I will show you." Dropping her pack Ashlyn pulled out two tins of makeup. One white and the other black. She rubbed the white all over her face and neck then took the black and a small mirror to paint what looked like a raven on her face. The contrast made her look completely different. Her death mask made her look foreboding in stature. "Well how does it look?"

"If I had not seen you put it on I would not know who you are. Your sword and shield will be harder to hide, but I think I have a idea." He took a sash from her pack and wrapped it the family crest on the hilt of her sword. The shield he covered with a large piece of leather hiding the crest on it.

"Thank you Duncan." He smiled a little a waved her on. Ostagar loomed over the horizon a few days later. Ashlyn felt the darkness ebbing from the nearby forest. She shivered a little bit, but kept her head high. "Looks like we have a welcoming party." Duncan looked up and saw the large man in fine armor walking toward them.

"King Cailan we weren't expecting..."

"A royal welcome. It is good to see you again my friend I was worried you would miss all the fun." Duncan rolled his eyes slightly, but kept the rest of his face neutral.

"Not if I can help it your Majesty." Cailan's eyes appraised Duncan's companion. "Let me introduce you your Majesty. This is..." Cailan cut him off before he could say another word.

"There is no need to be so formal Duncan. Ho there friend I am glad to see another recruit joining the fine Grey Wardens."

"Thank you, Your Majesty. My name is Raven." Her face was hidden behind her cloak's hood. Even with her face painted she feared the King would recognize her. It was a risk she was not willing to take.

"Where is Howe's army and Bryce Cousland? Fergus arrived here a day or two ago and said they should be only a day behind?"

"Arl Howe is a traitor my lord. He slaughtered everyone in Highever castle." Ashlyn's voice cracked. She willed herself not to cry.

"What?" How did he think he could get away with this? My dear woman are you from Highever?"

"Yes, your Majesty I am. My family worked in the castle if it had not been for Duncan I would have shared their fate. Howe killed our Teryn, his family and everyone else. He must pay for it."

"You have my word he will. Once we finish here I will turn my army north and make him pay for what he had done. For now I would suggest you take your grief out on the darkspawn. As for telling Fergus Cousland that he is the last of his line I fear it will have to wait. I have sent him and his men out into the wilds to scout. I hate to cut this short, but I must go meet with Loghain before he sends out a search party." Duncan and Ashlyn both bowed to the King as he walked away.

"Take some time and rest Raven. When you feel up to it find Alistair he is a fellow Grey Warden. Your hound can stay with me." Ashlyn petted her faithful hound Jaq. He bounced around her and Duncan wagging his stub of a tail.

"Silly boy go with Duncan. I will see you soon." The long bridge to the encampment gave her a good view of the valley below. Campfires dotted the forest floor. She had never seen so many soldiers in one place. It made her father's army look miniscule. A pang of grief wrenched her insides thinking about her beloved father. Ashlyn shook her head and tried to dispel the thoughts that ran through her head. She wandered the camp getting the feel for the place. One thing her training had taught her was to know the in and outs of where she was so if she had to she could escape anything.

"Mages, Templars, soldiers, and priests my this is full scale war. How is the name of the Maker did they get everyone to work together?"

"I thought the same thing when Duncan brought me here." Ashlyn jumped slightly. A shifty man stood before her smiling. "Well you are not what I thought you would be."

"And what exactly did you think I would be?" She crossed her arms over her chest hiding her small dagger.

"Not a woman, yet here you are. Name's Daveth." He gave her a polite bow. "Bout time you showed up we were starting to think they cooked up this ritual for our benefit."

"Maybe they just did it to annoy you. What ever this ritual is I am ready. I have come this far I am not one who backs down."

"A fellow rogue I see. Though the face paint is something I have never seen before. What are you in a guild?"

"No I just think it adds character. I make a deal with you I will watch your back if you watch mine." A lecherous smile played on Daveth's lips.

"Oh I will watch your back alright. And what a nice back it is."

"Charmer I see. Well I have to find Alistair do you happen to know where he might be?"

"He went that way. He did not look very happy. Nice enough chap for a Chantry type I suppose, but I don't think he likes me much."

"Thanks, I will find him. Oh and Daveth you should keep a better hand on your weapon." He looked down and found one of his daggers were missing. He looked up and found her twirling it in her fingers.

"How in the Maker's name did you do that?"

"You should have been paying more attention to my hands and not my ass. Here, I will see you later." She left the dumbfounded rogue staring after her. After a short walk she heard raised voices. She slowly rounded the corner and saw a mage yelling at a man who's face she could not see. She could hear his voice and he gave as good as he got from the mage. She hid as the mage stormed past her. She looked again and saw the man had turned so his back was facing her. She gathered her courage and walked up behind him. "Hello there." The man turned around and Ashlyn's breath caught in her lungs. He was not what she had expected. He was young and handsome. She thought most Grey Wardens were battle hardened older men. This man was around her age.

"You know the one good thing about the Blight is how it brings everyone together." His voice was even pleasing.

"I know what you mean."

"It's like a party we can all join hands and sing that would give the darkspawn something to see right? Wait, I don't think we have met. You don't happen to be another mage are you?"

"Do mages normally dress in leather and have their face painted?"

"No I guess not. Wait you are the new recruit I am sorry I should have recognized you."

"How would know me by sight? I know I have never met you before."

"Duncan sent word of a young woman from Highever would be joining the ranks of the Wardens. Your accent gave you away." He gave her a disarming smile and her stomach flipped. He was not at all what she had expected.

"I didn't think I had an accent?'

"It is slight, but there. I've found that every place in Ferelden has it's own."

"Your from Redcliffe."

"Your good."

"Only when I have to be." She put her hands on her hips and gave him a wicked smiled. She saw him gulp and her rubbed the back of his neck nervously. It was quite endearing. "So you must be Alistair."

"That I am."

"Well it is nice to meet you Alistair you can call me Raven." She held out her hand and he shook it. He was surprised by her grip and then by her face. Her cloak fell back just enough for him to see it. Part of him wanted to ask about it, but he had just met the woman. He knew better than to ask something that was none of his business.

"As the junior Warden I will be accompanying you while you prepare for your Joining."

"Is there anyway you could fill me in a little about this Joining?" He frowned for a moment. Then shook his head.

"You will find out in time. I can tell you this it will not be easy."

"I like challenges they make life interesting. I think I will enjoy fighting along side you and the other Wardens."

"You are a strange you know that right? Well my dear woman shall we get this show on the road so to speak." Ashlyn smiled a genuine smile for the first time since she lost her entire world. She had a sense of purpose for once. After everything she had lost her heart still had some life in it. She had promised her father that Howe would pay and she also had given her word about becoming a Grey Warden. Couslands always keep their word. Even if she did fall in battle she would crawl back for the Fade to bring justice to Howe, but for now she had other things to think about like the trip out to the Wilds and the up coming battle.


	2. Chapter 2

"Who's there? Grey Wardens." Ashlyn looked at this poor soul who had been attacked. The way he was holding his side made her think of her father and his fatal wound.

"Well he is not half as dead as he looks." Alistair's voice made her snap back to the here and now. She looked at the other two recruits and saw they looked just as terrified as she felt. The bodies of his fellow scouts were strewn around the clearing. Ashlyn knelt down next to him. She pulled bandages from her pack and a health poultice. With deft hands she bandaged him up enough he could stand and limp back to camp.

"How can we hope to survive against them? That scouting band had to have at least a dozen men there are four of us." Ser Jory from Redcliffe was nice guy as far as Ashlyn was concerned, but a bit of a coward. Also a little dim witted. She liked Daveth though for a cut purse he was noble in a sense. He knew what they were doing was a worthy cause.

"These are things we have to over come to be Grey Wardens Jory. This is part of why they are needed." Ashlyn wanted to scream at the man, tell him to go back home and forget about being a Grey Warden. All the lessons she had learned as the daughter of a Teryn held her tongue.

"Your right it is just..." Alistair put his hand on the larger man's shoulder.

"Know this every Grey Warden can sense when darkspawn are near whatever the danger I will let you know."

"See ser knight we might die, but at least we will have fair warning." Ashlyn smirked under her hood. After what happened to her family and the people she had known all her life death did not frighten her anymore. Some days it would have been welcomed with open arms.

"That does not mean I am here to make it easy for you. You must pull your weight." All three recruits nodded and then headed further into the Wilds. Ashlyn kept her ears pricked for any sound. Duncan had talked to her a little bit about what darkspawn did. Add on top of that what she had heard from the soldiers in camp and she thought she was lucky not to be crawling out of her own skin right now. The daggers she carried felt heavy at her sides. Her father's sword was in her right hand the warrior in her felt naked without a shield, but she was a rogue now not a fighter. She was a striker and a shadow walker not a battering ram anymore. Old habits died hard, but now and then they came back with a vengeance.

"Hey Raven why in the Maker's name are you using that heavy sword?" Daveth was true to his word of watching her back.

"It was my father's. It...I feel better having it with me."

"Well at least it will cut better than those dull daggers you have. Maybe once we get done out here you should buy better ones. It looks like it would take you weeks to kill anything with those."

"They do the job I need them too." He looked at her like she was insane, but left it alone. He walked ahead and fell instep with Jory. Ashlyn shook her head. She looked behind her a saw Alistair was watching them all closely. She did not know what to make of him yet. He was still not what she would have expected for a Grey Warden. He was young maybe a few years her senior. Everything about him was a little off to her. Her trust in things she thought she knew was shaken so she chalked it up to that. She looked one more time and saw him smile at her. "What are you smiling at might I ask?" She kept her voice quiet so the others did not butt in.

"Oh nothing really. I guess the enchantment on those daggers is greater than those two can see pass."

"You can see what they are?" Now she knew there was something defiantly different about him.

"Yes and they are quite deadly looking. If you have a better time using them I would. With darkspawn there is no second chance if you make a mistake." His eyes looked hopeful and sad at the same time. He was trying to make sure she survived this. A little bit of warmth flowed into her heart.

"I thought you weren't suppose to help us?" She let her mouth curl into a smile.

"My dear lady I am not helping I am merely making a suggestion." The lit of his voice sounded so familiar to her, but she could not place it. She gave him a quick nod and sheathed her sword. A funny feeling washed over her. It was almost like being dunked in an ice cold lake. Ashlyn reacted out of instinct and lashed out to her right side with her daggers. She hit something solid and heavy. The creature was short and thick. Black razor sharp teeth snapped at her arm as she sank her dagger into it's gut. Brackish blood ran over her hands as the dagger twisted. She could hear the rest of her group fighting, but her focus was on the monster in front of her. The wound she gave it should have dropped it, but it kept trying to bite her. Ashlyn pulled back on her dagger and back flipped away to give herself more room. The squat creature growled at her as it lunged with it's dagger.

"Holy Maker you are ugly."

"Do not make fun of the darkspawn they seem to hate it." She heard Alistair's voice from behind her. He was taking on two of the short creatures. Ashlyn sidestepped the genlock and buried her dagger in it's neck. With a quick flick of her wrist she slit the front of it's throat. Blood gushed from the wound as the genlock went down. Ashlyn turned to find the three men watching her. At first she felt annoyed that they did not help her, but the looks on their faces told her they were impressed she could fight.

"I was always led to believe that darkspawn were larger than most men. These things are so small."

"These are genlocks. The larger ones are called hurlocks. We should stay on our guard I can feel more groups like this out there." Jory and Daveth exchanged questioning looks, but said nothing. Ashlyn took the vial she had been given for the blood and filled it. Again they fell into their marching order. Daveth and Jory up front and her and Alistair covering the rear. "May I ask you something?"

"Yes." His eyes were serious almost like he was trying to see what made her tick.

"You moved before they made themselves known almost like you could feel them around us. How is that possible?"

"I got a odd feeling like being dropped into cold water. I had no idea that thing was there I just reacted. I am not sure why."

"I am impressed my lady." Ashlyn's face felt hot. She was thankful for her makeup or he would have been able to tell she was blushing.

"Thank you kind ser." She shook her head as she watched his ears turn red. "How long have you been a Warden?"

"About six months now, so not too long. I was grateful for the chance it got me out of a life I did not want."

"I would ask, but it is none of my business."

"It is not a secret I was training to be a Templar. I hated it."

"Why did you hate it?" He gave her a appraising look. "That is if you don't mind my asking."

"I was given to the Chantry at the age of ten. I did not want to go, but had no choice. I did not want to be a mage hunter. It just wasn't for me, but it was better than being a chanter."

"I can sympathize. I was not cut out for what I was either."

"Now you have me curious. What were you before coming here?"

"A fighter. I wasn't very good at it. I am better with daggers and stealth, but most people don't want a rogue around."

"Hm, well I don't mind having you around." He realized what he said and blushed a deep scarlet. "What I mean is your skills will be very welcome in the Grey Wardens."

"I don't mind being around. If it had not been for Duncan I would be dead." The serious look returned to his face.

"Got in over your head?"

"I...I'm not ready to talk about it yet." Ashlyn felt her eyes burn as tears threatened to come. Again she was thankful for her hood and makeup. "Let's just say I was betrayed by someone I called friend."

"I did not mean to pry." The look of sympathy on Alistair's face was almost more than she could bare. Before she could answer him another feeling of dread hit her. Alistair stiffened next to her readying his weapon. "We are going to have company be ready." Daveth and Jory pulled out their weapons and stood back to back. A cold chill ran through Ashlyn right before she got hit from behind. A shield bashed her in the side sending her reeling forward. A large figure stood over her prone body. This creature must have been a hurlock. Fighting with her small daggers would get her nowhere with a darkspawn of this size. She scrambled to her feet and pulled her family sword and shield off her back.

"Raven!" She could hear someone calling her, but she did not dare take her eyes off the beast in front of her. Planting her feet she waited for it to charge her. She did not have to wait long. The bone jarring hit on her shield almost made her knees give out. Fear faded away and anger took hold. She was going to do what the king told her to do. Vent her anger on the darkspawn. Another hit glanced across the surface of her shield. She rose off her knees and spun out with her sword. The hurlock jumped back, but not enough to stop her shield from bashing off his head. It howled with rage and she answered it with a snarl of her own. The hurlock's swings were sluggish yet strong. Ashlyn had no trouble dodging them. Her muscles worked completely on memory. It had been years since she had really used a shield regularly and she had never use one in a life and death situation. With all the power she possessed she bashed the hurlock again with her shield knocking it prone. Before it could right itself she leaped on it. With her shield she pinned it to the ground by the neck before plunging her sword into it's chest. For good measure she pushed down hard on the shield and heard the bones on it's neck break. Shakily she stood up her adrenaline was wearing off. The feeling of strong hands grabbing her arms made her spin around.

"Whoa wait it is just me." The red haze that had taken over her sight faded and the warm hazel eyes she knew became clear.

"Alistair?" She shook her head to clear it letting him steady her.

"Maker's breath woman I thought you said you were a terrible fighter."

"I...I never said that. I just said it wasn't for me."

"Either way your deadly. Remind me not to make you mad." The last of the darkspawn blood drawn the group headed to where the treaties were said to be. They heard the snarls of darkspawn up ahead and someone yelling. The group ran up the hill and saw a person in a tree surrounded by darkspawn.

"Really I won't make a good meal. I'm nothing but skin and bones. Go find someone else to eat you bastards!"

"We have to help her!" Alistair nodded and motioned for them to move up quietly. The woman in the tree saw them and tried to keep the beasts' attention on her. She started throwing acorns and sticks to keep them looking at her. The four Wardens took their opening and struck. They made quick work of the creatures. Once it was safe the woman climbed down out of the tree.

"Thank the Maker you came along when you did."

"What are you doing out here alone?" The woman looked young. Too young to be fighting in this battle.

"I was a member of the scouting band that the King sent out. We were ambushed. I was trying to find my way back to the camp, but I ran into those things and they chased me. Going up the tree seemed better than letting them rip me apart."

"Your lucky. Only one other of your group survived."

"Dammit, I'd better get back to camp and report what little I have found out. If I might ask why are you out here?"

"We are Wardens."

"Then I do count myself as blessed today. Thank you for not just my life, but for all that you do." Alistair smiled at the young woman. It was nice to hear someone at least appreciated what they do.

"Your quite welcome Miss..."

"Hawke, Leigh Hawke."

"We have to move on. We cleared most of the darkspawn between here and camp. Just keep an eye out."

"Thanks again." Ashlyn watched the woman run off toward Ostagar. She prayed that she got there safely. She felt Alistair nudge her forward. They still had to find the treaties before they could return. Half the day was gone and it would be dark in a few hours. Ashlyn did not want to be anywhere near the Wilds after the sunset, she had heard too many stories. The embattled group headed deeper into the swamps. Alistair stopped them just shy of the old tower. He felt the darkspawn moving near the top of the hill. He motioned for them to move slow and quiet. Trouble was neither he or Jory could move quietly. They hide behind a fallen tree to gauge better where the darkspawn were. Daveth slowly looked over the tree and saw a arrow pointed right at his head. Ashlyn moved faster than the darkspawn and kicked the bow before the arrow was let loose.

"Daveth move!" The rogue rolled to his right before a greatsword sliced him in two. Alistair and Jory placed themselves between the rogues and the darkspawn. "Raven can you get around them and hit from behind?"

"On it." She vanished from their sight and reappeared behind the largest of the darkspawn. She hit him low taking out his legs by cutting into the soft flesh behind his knees. She ducked his wild swing with his ax. Once he was on the ground she leaped on it's chest and slashed the things throat. Hot black blood struck her in the face blinding her for a moment. The smell made her want to retch.

"He's dead Raven." Daveth's hands pulled her up to her feet and took his cloak to wipe some of the blood from her face. "There all better."

"Thanks, where are the others?"

"Up at the tower, they chased the beasts up there. I wanted to make sure you were alright."

"I am, we'd better get up there." The thief did not let of of her hands before she could stop him he kissed her. Her head spun. He finally broke the kiss when he ran out of breath.

"Just in case I die at least I get to say I kissed a pretty girl before the end."

"You could have asked."

"And miss the blush on your face, never. Come my lady before they come looking for us." Ashlyn stood there for a second. She had never had anyone be this forward with her, she shook her head and headed up the hill behind him.

"This is where they should be. Looks like the chest was bashed in. Just great." Alistair stood up from the chest looking rather annoyed. "We need those treaties." Ashlyn saw a shadow move up in the ruin. She tensed and pulled her daggers.

"We have company." Alistair turned as did the other two men all ready for a fight. The shadow materialized into a young woman. She was scantly clad in furs and leathers. After a lengthy and tense conversation with this woman of the Wilds they found out her mother had the treaties. Ashlyn used the manners her mother and father taught her to win the woman over. She had a odd feeling about her, but she did not make her hair stand on end. Morrigan as she introduced herself was quite beautiful in a untamed sort of way. Her mother on the other hand made Ashlyn wary. Something was not right about her. The way she stared at Ashlyn made her uneasy. It was almost like she was looking through her into her soul. The older woman gave them the scrolls and had Morrigan lead them out of the Wilds back to Ostagar. Whether or not they were ready the Joining was upon them.


	3. Chapter 3

Ashlyn sold off the things she had found out in the Wilds. Daveth went with her. She was use to men staring at her. Without her painted face and leathers she was quite pretty, but the days of her wearing clothing fit for a noble was long gone. Even after she returned home she knew she had changed. Her training as an assassin and the two years spent running the forests with the Dalish had wrung the once proper lady right out of her.

"Daveth you know you don't have to follow me around anymore right we are safe here? There is no need to watch my back any longer."

"I know, but I needed to get away from Jory before I kill him. His whining is getting to me."

"Your right, for a warrior he is rather frightful. Why did he want to do this if all he does is complain?"

"Duncan did not give me a choice. It was this or hang. I like livin so it was this. After seeing those darkspawn in the Wilds today I can't think of any thing more important than stopping them."

"I feel the same way. I will have nightmares for months after all that." Daveth gave her a sincere smile. For all his lack of manners Ashlyn could see herself becoming this man's friend down the road. "I really did not have a choice either, but I am grateful to Duncan for saving my life and bringing me here."

"Well let's take our well earned coin and get on with this Joining business shall we. After you my lady." Daveth gave her a mock bow that made her laugh.

"Thank you kind ser." She gave a less than proper curtsey to answer his bow. They headed back to where she had first met Alistair. Jory and he were already there waiting for them. The look on Alistair's face made her heart sink. He looked distant and worry lines graced his brow. She wanted to ask him what was wrong, but she was afraid it had to do something with the Joining. Duncan slowly walked toward them.

"The time for the Joining has come. Like the Wardens before you, you must drink of the darkspawn blood and master their taint. Those who survive will be forever changed."

"Those who survive. How much danger are we in?" Daveth kept his face neutral, but fear could be seen in his eyes.

"I will not lie we pay a heavy price to be who we are. Some pay the price sooner rather than later."

"We have to drink the blood of those things!" Ashlyn shot Jory a look that said shut up. His whining was taking it's toll on her already raw nerves. She did not like the fact she had to drink their blood either, but if that's what it took to stop them, then so be it.

"This is the sacrifice we make to save what we love Jory. I would gladly drown myself in their blood if I thought it would help." Daveth's words held a lot of courage for a man who was a thief. Ashlyn's hand landed on his shoulder and she nodded in agreement.

"It is our duty to stop them Jory. We are not in this alone." Duncan nodded and began to speak again.

"We say only a few words before we begin, but these words were said from the first of us. Alistair if you would please."

"Join us brothers ans sisters. Join us in the shadows where we stand vigilant. Join us as we carry the duty that can not be forsworn. And should you perish, know that your sacrifice will not be forgotten. And that one day we shall join you." Alistair hung his head and did not look back up.

"Step forward Daveth." Duncan passed the chalice holding the darkspawn blood. Daveth gave Ashlyn a sly smile then closed his eyes and took a sip. Ashlyn and Jory waited with baited breath. At first Daveth's eyes looked like they rolled over white. Ashlyn's hand flew to her mouth as she tried to hold back a gasp. The next moment chilled her to her core. Daveth began to scream and convulse. His hands went up to his neck like he was choking, but nothing they could see was causing it. Ashlyn watched in horror as his body pitched forward and he lay still on the ground. "I am sorry Daveth." Duncan's voice was soft and full of pain. "Jory step forward."

"No there is not honor in this. If I had know I never would have agreed to this." He pulled his greatsword and swung it wildly in front of him.

"There is no going back." Duncan put the chalice down on a small stone alter and pulled one of his daggers. Jory glared at him.

"You ask too much. I have a child on the way I will not die like that." Jory took a swing at Duncan. Duncan blocked the sword with his dagger and with a quick move stabbed Jory in the chest. Ashlyn backed up against the wall. Everything in her told her to run away screaming, but after seeing what happened if you refused she knew she could not run. A firm hand gripped her shoulder. She looked up and found Alistair's hand there. His eyes were sad. Duncan stood over the bodies of Jory and Daveth shaking his head sadly. He took the chalice back from the alter and turned to face Ashlyn .

"The Joining is not complete. You were called to submit yourself to the Taint for the greater good." He passed the chalice to her and watched with sad eyes.

"What else do I have to lose right?" Ashlyn tried to give Duncan a weak smile before she took a sip of the blood. The smell of it turned her stomach. After taking a deep breath she gulped down one sip of the mixture. It was all she could do not to gag and throw it back up. A first she felt fine other than the nausea from the taste. Pain began to wrack her body. She wanted to scream, but found not voice for it. The visions that past before her minds eye were frightening. The pain and the fear became too much. Ashlyn thought this was the end she was dying just like Daveth. All went black and quiet.

"She will live Alistair. Her will is strong." Alistair had caught her limp body before it hit the hard stone ground. He gently laid her down away from the corpses of the other recruits.

"What did she mean by what else did she have to lose?"

"That is something you have to ask her." "I understand Duncan. She is not what I expected at all. She can use a shield and sword as well as her daggers. There was something so familiar about how she fights, but for the life of me I can't seem to place it."

"She has many skills we will come to rely on Alistair. Ah she seems to be coming around." Ashlyn groaned and rubbed her temples.

"Maker, I am dead?" She opened her eyes and found Alistair and Duncan standing over her. Both had small smiles on their faces.  
>"<p>

It is over welcome." Duncan pulled her to her feet and let her get her barrings back. "How do you feel?"

"Fine the pain is gone." She heard a whimper from behind her. Jaq her faithful hound padded out of the shadows and tilted his head at her. She was surprised he did not guard her body when she fell. "It's alright Jaq I am okay. Did you behave for Duncan while I was running around the Wilds?" The hound gave a short bark and began to wag his tail. Ashlyn let her hand fall to his head and began to scratch behind his ear. A thumping sound let her know she hit the right spot.

"He is a very well mannered Mabari. Take a few moments than met me at the war table." He pointed to the large table at the far end of clearing. Ashlyn nodded and watched him go.

"I almost forgot we have another thing we do after the Joining. We take some of the blood and put it in a pendant to remind us of those who did not make it this far."

"Thank you Alistair. I wish they had both made it. Jory died needlessly by his own fear. Daveth...poor Daveth."

"He still tried even though he knew the risks. He was far more noble than Jory who tried to run."

"I know. I am just tired of senseless death. I should get going and meet Duncan."

"Yes you should. Raven?"

"Yes."

"I am glad you survived."

"So am I." She flashed Alistair a warm smile and followed after where Duncan he gone. Jaq padded along side his master. She was no sure what she would find at the war table, but she was not prepared for what she saw.  
>The leaders of the armies all stood around this large wooden table. Ashlyn took her place beside Duncan. Cailan smiled at her. Ashlyn bowed and met his gaze. He had a knowing smirk that made her wonder what he was thinking.<p>

"I will be riding into battle along side the Grey Wardens."

"Cailan do you think that is wise?" Ashlyn had only met Loghain a few times in her life and they were all before she turned sixteen. He looked grumpy to say the least. A life spent fighting and planning had made him sour and taciturn.

"I am the king Loghain I stand with my army. Like my father did." Loghain gave a curt nod and unrolled his battle plan. Ashlyn watched a elven messanger make is way to the table. The poor boy looked scared out of his mind. He went to hand Cailan a sealed letter, but Loghain stopped him.

"We are in the middle of something elf it can wait."

"Um..I was ….was told to give this to the ki...king right away." Cailan was busy talking to the leader of the mages and did not hear what was going on. Duncan was talking to the Revered Mother who looked just as sour as Loghain.

"I said it can wait now be gone." When the elf did not leave right away Loghain back handed him across the face. The boy fell back and hit the ground hard. Ashlyn jumped over the table and caught Loghain's arm before he could do something else.

"That is uncalled for. He is just doing his job." Before she could react Ashlyn caught his other gauntleted hand across her face. She reeled back, but held on to his sword arm.

"How dare you.!" His roar made everyone turn around. Cailan stopped his second hit on Ashlyn while Duncan pried her off Loghain's arm. She shrugged him off and went to tend to the messanger. His face was covered in blood. She saw he had a large gash on his cheek from the force of the hit. She helped him to his feet and pressed at clean rag to his face. Ashlyn wheeled around still holding the elf up and glared at Loghain.

"How dare I? You should be ashamed of yourself My Lord. He was just doing his job. You did not have to strike him like that. Only cowards pick on those who can not fight back!" She was beyond livid at this point. Forgetting where she was and who she was talking to.

"Insolent little wench!" Cailan held Loghian back from coming at her. She stepped in front of the elf and lifted her chin in challenge. She had seen too much of this treatment of elves and it did not sit well with her. Duncan placed his hand on her shoulder and shook his head telling her to drop it.

"Loghain enough! I will not have my people killing each other when we have much more important things to worry about. Now stand down!" Loghain started at Cailan for a moment and relaxed his shoulders, but his eyes still looked like he was about to rip her apart.

"Forgive my your Majesty. I...w...w was told to bring this to you right away. I should not have interrupted." The fact that the elf was still bleeding and now that he spoke Ashlyn could see he was missing a few teeth from that hit.

"It was not your fault you were doing your job. He had no right to strike you like that." Ashlyn was not about to let this slide.

"Please my lady I...I don't want you to get in trouble for me."

"I don't care if I get in trouble. No one deserves what he did to you, no one."

"Loghain please continue going over the battle plan with Duncan. The Grey Warden and I will take this young man to a healer."

"As you wish." Ashlyn gave Loghain one last glared and followed the king back to the heart of the camp. A senior mage named Wynne healed Ashlyn's face first than took care of the elf. Cailan waited patiently til Ashlyn was done and led her back to the war table. While heading back he stopped out of ear shot of the rest of the camp.

"I am sorry Loghain hurt you my dear lady."

"It was nothing. He hit that poor boy much harder than he did me. I am sorry I caused trouble your Majesty. I sometimes forget my place and my temper takes over."

"I know of your legendary temper my lady. I also know who you are." Her eyes went wide and she spun to face Cailan. "Before you go yelling at Duncan, he kept your secret I figured it out on my own." Crimson ran up her neck and flushed her face.

"I...uh.." Cailan laughed and took her small hands in his metal cover ones.

"I will tell no one Ashlyn I promise. I will also keep my promise to make Howe pay for what he did to you. I have a question if you will indulge me though."

"Why did I run away and hide for those three years instead of doing what the Landsmeet wanted and marry you. Am I right?"

"I could not have put it better myself. Yes I would like to know why." Ashlyn took a deep breath and looked him in the eyes.

"I was only sixteen and the thought of it scared the hell out of me. Anora loved you and I knew you loved her. How was I to stand in the way of that regardless of what the nobles wanted. I did what I thought was best for all of us and I left. It was never anything against you. You are a wonderful man Cailan, but you did not want me either."

"Then I thank you for what you did. I see you did it out of kindness and not spite."

" I have one more request of you my lady."

"Anything."

"I know you are the only one to survive the Joining and next to you Alistair is the newest Grey Warden. I want you to watch his back in the coming battle. He is a skilled warrior indeed, but all the same." Ashlyn gave Cailan a questioning look, but held her tongue.

"As you wish. You can count on me."

"Good not let us get back to the planning session before everyone falls asleep from Loghain's droning." Cailan kissed her hand and they headed back to the planning session. It was decided that She and Alistair would light the beacon to let Loghain know when to flank the darkspawn. The battle did not go as planned most of the soldiers died when Loghain quit the field. The king and the rest of the Wardens also did not survive the betrayal. Alistair and Ashlyn were attacked and nearly killed by darkspawn in the tower of Ishal. If it had not been for Morrigan's mother both of them would have been dead too. With only Alistair and Morrigan to lean on Ashlyn had to figure out how to stop Loghain, raise a army large enough to fight the darkspawn , and slay the Archdemon. No small task, but nothing that is worth doing is easy.

**Now I want to go back and repay this game again. Dammit! I need to get through Skyrim first before I get drug back into Dragon Age again. I swear these RPGs just suck you right in and never let you go. Who am I kidding I love every minute of it. As always thanks for reading and thank you to those who have already put this in their watch and favorites lists. **

**Raven**


	4. Chapter 4

Lothering stunk of despair and fear. Ashlyn had hoped she would never have to see anything like this again. She head swam with everything that had to be done. With her being one of the two surviving Grey Wardens left in all of Ferelden it was up to them to stop the Blight. Alistair was still reeling from losing Duncan and the rest of his friends. He did not talk much since they left Flemeth's hut in the Wilds. Morrigan, Flemeth's daughter had joined their little band. Jaq had also survived much to her relief. Other than her brother who was still missing, Jaq was the only living thing she had left from Highever. The small group found two more to help with their quest here in Lothering. A Qunari named Sten who looked like he could snap her in half if he wanted to and a lay sister named Leliana. Who Ashlyn liked almost immediately. After resupplying they headed out to the Bannorn to camp the more distance they put between them and the darkspawn the better. Once camp was set up and they had ate, Ashlyn went to bed. She hoped that she would have a dreamless sleep as tired as she was. She was wrong. Her dreams were pleasant at first, but turned dark. She saw her father bleeding and her mother having her throat cut. She saw herself running to kill Arl Howe when he transformed into a dragon. It stared at her and she could feel the taint rolling off of it. She screamed and everything went dark.

"Hey wake up. Raven your safe open your eyes." Her eyes snapped open and tried to focus. Warm hazel eyes stared into hers. "Maker I have never heard anyone scream like that."

"Alistair?" Her head felt heavy. She looked around and saw everyone looking at her with concern in their faces. She let him help her to her feet. His hands held her steady as she got her barrings.

"Nightmares?" She nodded.

"All the lovely parts of being a Grey Warden. When we sleep we tap into the darkspawn's group mind. Our dreams are us hearing them."

"I saw a dragon. Maker he spoke to me, but I couldn't make it out. It was horrifying."

"You saw the Archdemon. This is how we know this is truly a Blight." Her dark blue eyes searched his for a glimmer of hope that they could really stop this she found none.

"Wonderful. So we have to kill that thing to end this. Maker help us." She felt his hands rub her arms. She looked up at his face and smiled. They were kindred spirits of a sort. Both having lost everyone they had loved. Ashlyn squeezed his hand. "Is there anything else I should know about being a Warden?" The mirth left his eyes and he sighed.

"You don't have to worry about growing old."

"Why? I know this is a reckless endeavor, but it can't be that hopeless ."

"That's not what I meant. The Taint...our bodies can't keep it back forever. In time it takes us."

"How long?"

"Thirty years give or take." Ashlyn nodded, it was more time than she thought, but it still shocked her that she would never see her so called golden years. She was even sadder for Alistair and she wasn't sure why.

"Then what, we keel over?"

"No,we go to Orzammar and the Deep Roads. That's were the darkspawn are most concentrated when there is no Blight. We go to fight our last battle with them, hoping they kill us."

"If they don't?"

"You become them."

"That's why the Joining is secret." He nodded sadly and stared at the ground. "Well I did say I had nothing to lose right? Do you have top go alone or can you bring another Warden with you?"

"Normally ones who take the Joining together go face their Calling together."

"I guess I am going alone then."

"I...we could go together since I have only been tainted six months longer than you."

"Then whoever hears their Calling first the other of us goes with them. We fight this to the bitter, bloody end, together." Her hands held on to his and she gave him a sad smile. He returned it, but his heart did not feel sad, on the contrary it was pounding in his chest. He withdrew his hands and began to rub the back of his neck absentmindedly again.

"Well now that you have successfully awakened the dead we should head out. Where are we going first?"

"The Circle of Magi. That one sounds the easiest for now. Plus it puts a greater distance between us and everything that is hunting us."

"Sounds good to me." He lingered by her side for a few more minutes before taking down his tent. The journey to the Circle was surprisingly easy. They met little resistance along the way. Ashlyn spent the long march talking and getting to know her companions. Sten was the hardest to crack, but she was stubborn and finally annoyed it out of him. Morrigan was another one who was slow to open up. Her opinions on the others was not good. Sten she seemed to respect as well as Ashlyn herself. Alistair hated Morrigan and the feeling was mutual. Leliana was easy to talk to and the women found they had much in common. Both were trained as rogues though Ashlyn kept her training as an assassin a secret. She knew how most people felt about people who killed for money even if she never wet her blade she would be looked on with distrust. Alistair was still very quiet. He looked like a kicked pup most of the time. Ashlyn made a point to try to bring him back around. She got her chance when they stopped to camp outside of Lake Calenhad.

"Is dinner almost ready?" She looked into the pot that her fellow Warden had been slaving at for the past two hours. She wrinkled her nose and tried to make out what exactly was in that pot. It looked like bubbling gray mud.

"Yeah, but I doubt anyone will want to eat it. Sorry my cooking skills lack. Maybe you should have Leliana cook. I would suggest Morrigan, but then again she would probably poison my food."

"I will cook next time. I wanted to talk to you and see how you were doing. You have been very quiet since we left the south."

"Have I? I guess I have. I just can't believe Duncan is gone and King Cailan. How could Loghain do this?" His face contorted into a mask of pain Ashlyn knew all too well. She let her hands rest on his shoulders as she stood behind him.

"Even people you thought were noble and good can have a darkness in them. I had grown up with hearing tales of how the Howes and the Couslands were the best of friends. It did not stop Arl Howe from killing everyone in that castle. I know how you feel Alistair I lost everything. My family, the life I thought I would lead. Now I am bound by lives that were given so I could live. I owe my family and Duncan for giving everything so I could stop the Blight with you. You can't shut down on me now. I need your help. You and I are all we have left. Yes I know there are other people here helping us, but they will never truly understand what it is to be a Grey Warden. You and I are bound to this life by blood. I hope that we live to see the end of this, but if we don't we have to make sure we give it our all." He turned and smiled at her. His hands covered hers as they still sat on his shoulders.

"Your right Raven. I am glad your you and not some other Grey Warden. That sounded so much better in my head." She giggled at him as she moved to his side. "What I wanted to say is I can't see me doing this with anyone else. You have proven to be a superb fighter and a good leader. We would still be wandering the Wilds if I was in charge."

"You sell yourself short. You are a good leader. You got us through the Wilds before the Joining. I was scared out of my mind. I had never seen darkspawn before and nothing could have prepared me for how monstrous they were. You did not bat an eye."

"Fooled you did I? It was all an act."

"Liar, now let's see if I can save this mess you call stew. I think I have some herbs that might make it taste a little better."

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure what's on your mind?"

"Why do you paint your face? It looks like a death mask and doesn't seem to fit you."

"Ah I was wondering when that would come up. Let me see how do I explain this. I spent some time with a Dalish clan. I don't know if you have ever seen them, but they have tattoos on their face. I would have had it done, but my father would have skinned me alive. So I paint my face instead. It is just something I am use to. It makes it easier to blend into the shadows. As for it not fitting me well I know it doesn't, but it is just something I have to do for now. Maybe in the future I can take it off."

"I didn't mean to offend you Raven. I was just curious. You look like... well like a darkspawn with you face painted like that."

"Maker I didn't even think of that. I guess I do don't I. I will have to keep my hood over my face lest someone mistake me for one of the fiends." Alistair let out a rolling laugh. "Ah see I got you to laugh my work for the night is done."

"Not yet woman you still need to help me with the bloody stew. It's that or we cook your dog." Ashlyn heard Jaq growl from behind them. She turned and signaled him to stand down.

"I wouldn't make him mad if I were you Alistair he is a war dog after all."

"Alright, but he could feed us for a week. I mean look at the size of him. He is largest Mabari Hound I have ever seen."

"Would you believe he was the runt of the litter, the man who owned his mother was going to drown him because he was too small? I paid ten silver for him. It was some of the best money I ever spent."

"He was a runt really? What the hell did you feed him to make him get that big?"

"Smart mouthed men who made me mad." She started with a fit of laughter because of the shocked look on her fellow Warden's face. She fell over clutching her sides. She hadn't laughed this hard in a long time. "I...I didn't mean you Alistair. Maker's breath I haven't laughed like that in a long time." He glared at her, but the anger near truly reached his eyes. "Aw don't be cross with me it was only a joke."

"You are a evil, evil woman Raven." His eyes again betrayed him. She saw the light in them that he had before the battle at Ostagar. She gave him a knowing smirk and went off to fetch the herbs. "Maker she is going to be the death of me." Alistair shook his head both thanking and cursing Duncan for sticking him with her. They were both broken from loss and thrown into a mess with no clear direction on how to stop the Blight. All he knew was when push came to shove she was there fighting with everything she had and then some. He marveled at this woman with her painted face, piercing dark blue eyes and dark red hair. Her armor was even strange to him. She wore black leather pants , boots and a vest. He was sure if someone got a good shot off on her she would be dead. That is if they could catch her. He had never seen anyone move like she did. All the grace and poise of a noble woman coupled with the heart of a seasoned warrior. He sighed a curse as he knew what he was feeling. Maybe they could fix each other make themselves whole again. Not so broken and lost.

OoO

Ashlyn cursed loudly. She couldn't believe she got tricked by a stupid rouse. Now she and her friends were trapped and the only way out was to fight. Her eyes met Leliana's and the women had a silent conversation in a matter of seconds. With a nod Ashlyn knew her friend was ready. Both women rolled out to either side. Letting Morrigan and the new found Wynne let lose their spells with out obstacles. Leliana made a strike at the mage beating her back. Ashlyn took on the leader. He was good she would give him that, but she was better. Ashlyn had the elf on the run when a sharp cry broke her concentration. She caught out of the corner of her eye Alistair caught in a leg hold trap. Making him a sitting duck to the archers on the hills that covered both sides of the through way. She had to end her fight quick so she could help defend her helpless friend. The elf tried to take advantage of her momentary lack of attention. He made one flourishing thrust at her heart opening himself up for her to crack him across the back of the skull. He went down hard and she would have finished him off on principle had she not heard her fellow Warden cry out again as a arrow plugged him in the shoulder. Ashlyn ran pulling her father's shield off of her back. She slid to Alistair's side and blocked a deluge of arrows aimed at him.

"Lovely weather we are having isn't it? They never put in the travel guides that Ferelden had arrows raining from the sky." Ashlyn was trying to keep him awake and talking. The pool of blood forming under him for his leg wound grew larger by the minute.

"Well what can I say we have dogs, mud and arrows. Maker this hurts."

"You have to hold on a little bit longer. Leliana will make short work of those archers. I have never seen anyone shoot like she does." Alistair's eyes began to roll back and close. "Oh no you don't, wake up. You are not leaving me to do this alone you hear me. Open you eyes! Alistair!" His eyes snapped open, but could not focus on her. The sound of arrows thumping off of both their shield lessened more and more. "Wynne help! Stay with me Alistair. Wynne!" She felt hands pull her shield down to gain access to the injured Warden. The older woman's eyes flashed with worry.

"Raven you have to get that trap off his leg while I start to heal him." Ashlyn nodded and went to work on the trap. It was a trap made to not come off it's victim easily. Ashlyn heard a stifled scream of pain as she tried to pry the teeth off his leg. She tried a few different ways to remove it, but nothing seemed to work. In desperation she grabbed it tightly slicing up her own hands in the process. A sudden click told her she had finally succeeded. With the trap gone Wynne stopped the bleeding and was able to take the arrow out of his shoulder. Raven stood watching with blood dripping of her own hands. Her fear for his safety made her ignore the immense pain she was in. Morrigan tried to drag her away to heal her, but Ashlyn shook her off. The witch gave up and walked away, muttering under her breath as she did. When Wynne was satisfied Alistair was out of the woods she stood and dusted off her knees. The sight of their leader with ripped up hands made her shake her head. She tsked and headed for Ashlyn.

"Will he be alright?"

"Yes, he just needs to rest and get a good meal in him. Now let me see your hands dear. Maker, Raven how are you not howling in pain?" Ashlyn shrugged. Since her training as an assassin pain meant nothing to her. Her guild master had put her through pain that people would beg for death if they were inflicted with it. She learned to more you scream the more you hurt. She learned quickly not to scream. Wynne patted her hands when she finished the healing. "They will be a bit stiff for a few days, but you did not permanent damage them."

"Would not have mattered if I did." Wynne opened her mouth to scold her, but Alistair groaned from behind them and tried to get to his feet. Ashlyn held out her hand to help him up. "Easy." Her arm wrapped around his waist and she let him lean on her. He gave her a lopsided grin and she sighed at him. "No fair trying to duck out of the party early you know." Alistair gave a dark chuckle and tried to stand up on his own, He swayed back into her nearly knocking her over. "You should sit back down." Before her could answer Morrigan called from where Ashlyn had left the leader of the bandits.

"Raven this one is still alive. Would you like me to make is head explode like a rip melon?" With Alistair in tow she made her way slowly to where her apostate friend was.

"Thank you Morrigan, but no I want to talk to him first, find out who sent him. Then if I am not happy with his answers I will let you have your fun." Morrigan gave a wicked smile to the woman she had started to call friend. Ashlyn used the flat of her sword and prodded the elf. She noticed Alistair standing up straighter trying to look imposing. His arms crossed over his chest and he glared at the elf. A slow groan sounded from the downed man. He looked up at her and winced.

"I rather thought I would wake up dead." He stayed on the ground knowing if he moved he was a dead man. Morrigan let her walking bomb spell flash on her hand, an evil grin on her lips.

"My friend here could still arrange that and believe me it won't be pleasant. Now I know what you are what I don't know is who hired you or why?" She crossed her arms and glared at the elf.

"I am to be interrogated then, there is no need, I will tell you what ever you want. I was hired by a rather taciturn fellow by the name of Loghain. He had heard rumors that one or more Grey Wardens survived Ostagar. He wanted them taken care of especially the young blonde male if he lived." Ashlyn's eyes narrowed to almost slits. "_Why would he want Alistair dead?"_

"Well you failed. Were you to meet with this Loghain again?"

"I wasn't. If I was successful I was to return home and if I failed I would be dead. His man paid the Crows directly. I am just the weapon not the collector."

"His man?"

"A man by the name of Howe set everything up." Rage rushed through Ashlyn and it did not go unnoticed by her companions. Her already frightening face twisted into a feral mask of hate. Her fists clenched into tight balls and a low growl hissed through her teeth. The elf flinched as if he was waiting for her to run him through A hand touched the side of her face gently quenching some of the fire. Warm hazel eyes met hers.

"Raven are you alright?" Alistair had never seen her show anger like the kind he had just seen on her face now. She was normally very even tempered. This was not a side of her she wanted them to see. The fiery Cousland temper mixed with that of her mother's family. Her father use to say she got the best and the worst of both sides. It made her unpredictable and also very dangerous.

"I..." She took a deep cleansing breath. "I am fine." The look on Alistair 's face showed he did not believe her. "I will tell you about it later I promise, right now we need to know what he knows."

"I will hold you to that promise."

"So you are a Antivan Crow? I was always told they were without equal. I guess I heard wrong." She was goading him and she knew it, but she needed to find out if there were others on their trail. If anyone from her guild was hired it would be harder to protect her friends. A small shiver ran down her spine.

"Well against a famed Grey Warden no I guess none would win and your companions are formidable indeed." He was trying to charm her. If she was a naïve young girl it might have worked in his favor, but she was no longer naïve.

"Why did Loghain want the male Warden dead more than any other?"

"I do not know. I ask only what I need to know."

"Do you know if anyone else was hired to hunt us?"

"No as far as I know we were the only ones hired. The group founded here in Ferelden had a major shake up. Their leader killed most of her higher ranked sisters for some reason or another. We never found out why."

"I see well that is good to know. So what do I do with you now?"

"Well I would very much like to live and I could lend my services to you. And if you let me help you the Crows will think twice before trying to kill me. Which they will try to do now that I failed." Ashlyn knew well enough that he spoke the truth. She mulled it over in her head, another set of blades would not be a bad idea and he did have a great deal of skill.

"So what do we call you?"

"My name is Zevran. Zev to my friends."

"I accept your help then Zevran." She held out her hand and helped the elf to his feet. "I will warn you should you think about double crossing us. I will kill you and I will not make it quick or clean."

"Ah a lady after my own heart. You have my service and my blades til death takes me or you should have no more use for me this I swear."

"What we are taking the assassin with us now?" Alistair stared at his friend with wide eyes. He trusted her judgment most of the time, but this was pushing it.

"Well you could kill him if you want, but we do need all the help we can get. Another set of eyes and blades is always needed."

"Alright, but if ever there was a sign we were desperate it just knock on the door and said hello." Alistair gave the elf an evil look and led Ashlyn back toward the road. They had to keep moving while they still had day light. Leliana struck up a conversation with the newest member of the group. Ashlyn felt Alistair lean on her still weakened by the severe loss of blood. She tightened her arm around his waist to give him more support. "So when are you going to tell me about what happened back there?"

"When we are at camp. You and I can talk after you rest. I promised you I would tell you and I will. One thing I will never be accused of is breaking my promises. You know you scared me back there. I thought I was going to lose you." Her voice sounded tight and full of pain. She felt his lips kiss the top of her head. "What was that for?"

"For being you. I saw your hands after you pried that trap off of my leg. You sliced them to the bone. You were more concerned with helping me then your own safety. Thank you, I mean it. You are quite a woman Raven. I don't think I have ever met anyone like you."

"Stop it you will make me blush kind ser." She loved the way she could banter with him and him hold his own. Everything about him was pleasing to her and it both scared and thrilled her. A small tint of red touched his ears a sight that made him even more endearing to her. She would tell him what brought her to his side. She would omit she was the daughter of a Teryn. She feared if she told him he would go out of his way to protect her since she might be the last of her line. He was noble like that, but she would rather omit the truth than let him take a death blow for her. She had enough people do that for her already. She could not bare losing Alistair too, she wouldn't.

OoO

The sun had long set and tents raised. Ashlyn watched over the cooking pot and the spit were a wild boar slowly roasted. Her eyes kept going to Alistair's tent. They had stopped far sooner than she had wanted to, but her fellow Warden could go no further. His strength had left him, from his blood loss. Wynne assured her he would be fine after a good meal and rest. She aimed to give him that good meal. She was grateful she had learned to cook from her time with the Dalish plus all the times she spent in the kitchen with Nan helped also. She had not lied to him about that. She had lived with a large clan for almost two years.

"Raven your eyes have not left his tent since he went to lay down." Ashlyn looked over her shoulder and found Leliana smirking at her.

"I am concerned, he lost a lot of blood." She kept her voice neutral trying to throw her off. As much as she loved Leliana she was not up for a discussion about how she felt about Alistair. She did have feelings for him, but the waters were muddied by the fact either one could die any day.

"It is more than that my friend and you know it. I have seen the way you look at him when you think no one is looking. That makeup might hide most of the features of your face , but not your eyes."

"Knew I should have pulled my hood down further." Her bard friend chuckled and sat next to her. Leliana nudged her in the side trying to prompt her to spill her secrets. "What?" Leliana gave her a knowing look and waited patiently for her to talk. "Maker, has anyone told you how annoying you can be?"

"Yes, but I will not change so loosen that tongue of yours Raven and talk to me. Do you have feelings for our handsome Templar?"

"Yes." She could only whisper her answer. The fact she voiced it surprised her. After what happened in Kinloch Hold with the mages Ashlyn felt the two of them get closer. She even felt the fire of jealousy when she found him in the Fade standing next to a woman. It turned out to be his sister, but til she learned that she wanted to tear the woman apart of touching him. She tried to keep her distance, but it was hard and he did not make it easy on her. With his awkward charm he had worn her down quickly.

"Isn't that a good thing? You sound so afraid."

"I lost everything I ever loved in my life before I became a Grey Warden. My old life, my family, even my home is gone. I am barely holding together Leliana. I know I act all tough and look like I know what I am doing. I am scared to death that I will not be able to stop the Blight. That I will fail again like I did..." Tears streamed down her face.

"Raven I am sorry I didn't mean to bring up bad memories. Why don't you go check on Alistair. I will watch dinner. We can chat later." Ashlyn hugged the bard tightly before she went to the Templar's tent.

"Alistair are you awake?" She kept her voice low just in case he was asleep. She waited and heard no answer. She let out a light sigh and began to walk away.

"Raven?" She turned to find him peeking out of his tent. "What's wrong?" He could see the the trails her tears had left through her makeup.

"Nothing just got a little bit of smoke in my eyes. How are you feeling?"

"Other than starved I will live. Well since I am awake we can talk. You promised to tell me why you looked like you were ready to murder someone when Zevran mentioned the name Howe."

"I did, but I prefer not to talk out here. Can we talk in your tent?"

"Sure...um, come on in." His ears turned a slight pink as he held the flap of his tent open for her. She crawled in after she removed her boots. She sat down across from him, but did not look him in the eye.

"Arl Howe attacked my home. I come from Highever. His men attacked when the Teryn sent most of his army to Ostagar. Only a token force was left. He and his soldiers slaughtered everyone in the castle. My family died that night. My parents gave their lives to buy Duncan time to get me out of the castle. My nephew and sister-in-law were...Maker forgive me I hate that man. I swore that I would not rest til I found him and watched life leave his body by my hands. I'm sorry I normally don't …..." She felt arms wrap around her pulling her close. A broken cry wracked her body. She heard him try to console her, but her tears and sobs would not stop. Her makeup smeared on his clean white shirt, but he didn't seem to care. Ashlyn wrapped her arms around Alistair's waist clinging to him like he was her only anchor stopping her from washing away with grief. All the pain she had buried came back with the vengeance of the Archdemon himself.

"I'm here, I'm here." His voice was soothing. Her tears slowed and her breathing leveled. "Raven how long have you held that in?"

"Too long. Oh Alistair, I ruined your shirt." He laughed and shook his head.  
>"Maker, woman you just cried your eyes out because of what that monster did to your family and you think I am worried about a silly shirt. I am worried about you, the shirt can be replaced, you can't."<p>

"I have never lost control like that before. It is a bit embarrassing. I must look like hell." His thumb lightly caressed her cheek.

"You look beautiful to me." His voice sent a shiver through her right to her core. Alistair leaned forward as his hand shifted to rest behind her neck. He was shaking or maybe it was her, Ashlyn could not tell. "_He isn't...Maker he is. He is going to kiss me. Please, please kiss me."_ She silent prayed as she waited. He was so close she could feel his breath on her face. Their eyes were locked and it seemed the not even the Maker himself could break their stare. Ashlyn let her eyes close still waiting for him to meet her lips with his.

"Hey you two dinner is ready come and get it." Alistair gave a low groan and removed his hand. Ashlyn opened her eyes and sighed. "_Nothing ever goes right why should this. Am I cursed? Why can't I ever have something go right?"_

"Go and eat you need your strength. I will join you all shortly have to fix my makeup." She crawled out and started lacing up her boots.

"One of these days I hope you will let me see you without all that on your face."

"I hope so too. Right now it is necessary. Please trust me I would not be doing this without good reason."

"I do trust you, completely." He took her hands for a moment and gave them a reassuring squeeze. "Don't be long else you won't get much to eat. I am so hungry I could eat a ogre."

"Yuck, really? That is just well, eww." She giggled at him and gave a gently push to his shoulder. "Alistair thank you. I will buy you a new shirt as soon as I can." She turned and jogged back to her own tent. A few minutes later she returned and joined her friends by the fire. Taking her normal seat between Alistair and Leliana. She looked around the campfire at the people she has collected along the way. Alistair her noble knight, Morrigan her witchy friend, Leliana her sister in every sense of the word even if they shared no blood. Sten the strong and stoic, Wynne the motherly figure she so desperately needed in all this. Jaq her faithful hound the last real thing she had left of being Ashlyn Cousland, and finally Zevran who she was planning on getting to know once they broke camp.

"Leliana this is great." Alistiar stated with a mouth full of food.

"I would say your welcome, but didn't cook it Raven did I just watched it for the last hour. She did all the work." Ashlyn shyly slumped her shoulders and hid her face under her hood.

"Raven where did you learn to cook like this?"

"Well I spent a lot of time in the kitchen with my Nan. You pick up a few things along the way. She could cook much better than I ever will." She could feel the sadness twitch in her, but it was dull instead of sharp. Her crying jag had quelled a large part of the anguish she had been carrying with her. She looked into the eyes of all the people around the campfire and realized this was her family. This ragtag group of misfits meant as much to her as her true family had. This thought made her smile and feel happy without feeling guilty, This campfire was their family table. It didn't matter what they talked about or what they were eating this was the one time they were always together.


	5. Chapter 5

The small town of Honnleath was to be their next stop. The group had been heading to Redcliffe, but the presence of Loghain's scouts made them have to change their destination. Inside Ashlyn breathed a sigh of relief. She was not ready to go near a place that had people her parents called friend. It would hurt her too much to see Eamon and his wife happy and alive. She hoped the merchant that gave her the golem control rod was on the level. They were on enough of a wild goose chase to be sent search for something that did not exist.

"You look deep in thought my friend." She was so engrossed in studying the control rod Ashlyn did not hear Zevran walk up next to her.

"Just thinking."

"May I?" She shrugged and handed the elf the rod. He looked it over and handed it back. "How do you kill anything with those blunt blades?"

"They work just fine for me."

"An assassin's blades must be sharp and quick. Surely Desara taught you that much." The mention of her guild master made her stop dead.

"Who?"

"You do not need to play coy with me Warden. You wear the leathers of the guild here in Ferelden and I saw the mask that goes with it fall out of your pack this morning. I am surprised she let you go."

"I have no idea what you are going on about, but you need to stop now!" The rest of their group heard her raised voice and turned around. Zevran knew he hit a nerve and decided it was best to pluck it further. He needed to know just how skilled this woman was. Sure she bested him, but that could have been just luck. He had to know if she could really do what she set out to do or he would have to cut his loses and try to beg his way back into the Crows.

"I know a fellow assassin when I see one." Ashlyn could feel the rest of her groups eyes on her. It felt like they were burning a hole through her back. She was visibility shaking and her hands were clenched in tight fists.

"You know nothing. Now silence your tongue or I will do it for you!" She stormed passed the elf and did not look at anyone as she passed them also. Leliana ran after her, but came back a minute later looking dumbfounded.

"She's gone."

"What do you mean gone?"

"I...she vanished into thin air Alistair, one second she was in front of me the next she vanished in a puff of smoke." The bard rounded on the elf and slammed him up against a tree. 'What did you say to her?"

"I asked her if she was an assassin."

"Why?"

"She wears their leathers and knows their tricks. I was just trying to strike up a conversation with a fellow assassin. I meant no harm."

"Wait you think she is an assassin? That's not possible." Alistair had a look of pure hate as he stared at the elf. He did not want to believe the woman he traveled with, the person he trusted the most was a murderer. He just could not see how she could ever be that cold, that cruel. He could see in Leliana's eyes she was thinking the same thing.

"Ask her yourself, she has the mask of their guild as well in her pack."

"What guild?"

"A woman named Desara broke away from the Crows and took a few of her friends with her. All of them women. She took in other women when she came here and set up her guild. All of them wear black thin leathers and all of them wear masks even from each other. They trust no one."

"You could be making this up."

"If I was would she have stalked away? She was one of them and lucky enough to survive Desara's training. That woman is beyond evil. She enjoys torture and making her prospects scream. The more you scream the more she hurts you."

"I don't believe you."

"As I said ask her yourself." Leliana let go of the elf and walked away before she ended up beating him to death. She stood by Alistair and waited for him to make a decision about what to do next. Without their leader they all looked lost.

"Make camp, I am going to try to find her."

"You can't my friend. If she does not want to be found, then you won't find her."

"I am not your friend Zevran and if anything has happened to her I swear I will gut you." He turned to her war hound Jaq and motioned for him to follow. "Find her boy." With a quick bark the large dog took off with Alistair not too far behind.

"She should have let me make his head explode."

"I am starting to agree with you Morrigan. We should set up the tents I think this is going to take a while."

"With Alistair the one looking for her, yes I think it will." Leliana sighed and went to gather fire wood with Wynne and Morrigan. Sten stayed to make sure the camp was set up when the women came back. His normal silent demeanor was broken after the others had all left.

"If she does not come back elf, I will make sure you don't either." Zevran had not known that all of the group was that loyal least of all the Qunari. He had a very distinct feeling he just made a very big mistake.

OoO

Jaq sniffed around searching for his master, but the poor hound had lost the trail. Alistair swore under his breath as he felt a dark buzzing in his head. He could feel there was a small band of them, but too many for just him to fight. He pulled his shield and sword from his back and made himself ready. The low growl from Jaq told him the hound could feel them too. The ground under him began to shake as a ogre barreled into the clearing followed by a group of hurlocks. Jaq charged before Alistair could stop him. The ogre swung it's massive hand at the hound and missed him barely.

"Jaq get back here!" Alistair did not want to have to explain to Raven why her dog was dead. "This is all Zevran's fault. If I survive this I swear I will let the dog use him as a chew toy." Jaq barked in agreement and stood guard next to the warrior. "Well boy it was nice knowing you." Jaq whined as the darkspawn closed in.

"You picked a hell of a time to go for a walk Alistair." The voice came from behind him making Alistair jump. Raven stood with both daggers bared.

"I was looking for you."

"Well you found me and trouble too. We'll argue about this after we kill those things."

"Agreed." She let out a ear piercing screech and ran at the nearest darkspawn. Alistair stormed along after her and guarded her back. They fought together like they had been doing it for years. She used him for cover when she needed it and he let her strike out at their foes to weaken them for his killing blows. The ogre charged them both and they jumped out of the way in opposite directions. Alistair jumped up from the ground just in time to see the ogre wrap it's putrid hand around his fellow Warden. Ashlyn screamed as it started to crush her. She lashed out with her daggers, but they were no use against an opponent of this side. "Raven! Let go of her you bastard!" Alistair thrust his sword into the creatures belly and it released Ashlyn from it's grip. She fell like a stone and knocked her head hard against the ground. The sound of the fight had drawn the attention of the rest of their party who rushed into the clearing.

"Alistair duck!" Leliana let loose an arrow striking the behemoth in the eye. It was enough of a distraction for Alistair to pick up Ashlyn and move her to safety. He handed her off to Wynne and Morrigan then jumped back into the fight. Morrigan cast an ice spell freezing the beast in place for Alistair to smash it to pieces. When it was all said and done the clearing was covered in blood and chucks of frozen ogre.

"Wynne is she...?"

"She has a nasty bump on her head and her ribs are all cracked. We will need to get her back to camp so I can heal her properly. It will be a few days til she is up and about again."

"I'll carry her. Leliana can you get her pack and her weapons."

"I am going to hurt that stupid elf for this. She never would have been out here if he had not made her upset."

"I can still make his head explode if you like." As much as the thought was tempting to Alistair it was Raven's decision if the elf lived or died at this point.

"She can decide it when she is better. He just better stay away from her in the meantime." The three women shared a look and followed after the Templar and their fallen leader.

OoO

"_Ashlyn."_

"_Who's...where am I?"_

"_Ashlyn."_

"_Papa?"_

"_There you are pup, I was starting to think you had run off again."_

"_No Papa I promised you I wouldn't."_

"_But your still running away pup."_

"_No, I..." The scene in front of her changed and it was all she could do not to scream. The bloody bodies of her family all staring at her with accusing eyes. Ashlyn backed away and tried to run, but they grabbed her and pulled her back. She fought and screamed, but no one came to help her. There was no escape from her past and no future to cling to. _

"_Til you stop running there is no hope for you pup. You will end up losing anyone you care for."_

"_No Papa I won't let that happen. I can't..."_

"_Stop running."_

"_I'm doing this to protect them."_

"_By denying who you are?"_

"_It is the only way. Howe is still out there and I will not lose anyone else to that snake of a man. I could not save you, but I will be damned if I let him hurt my companions."_

"Maker, she is thrashing around." Leliana tried to hold Ashlyn down, but the Warden was much stronger than her friend even in sleep. Alistair had to help hold her down while Morrigan and Wynne set to heal her.

"Warden nightmares."

"I don't even want to know."

"No, you really don't. Wynne?"

"Her ribs are healed, but I don't want her fighting til I know that head wound is not going to effect her further."

"So we wait here."

"Someone should stay with her til she wakes."

"I will."

"I'll carry her back to her tent for you Leliana."

"Thank you Alistair." Sten and Zevran watched as he carried her to her tent. The assassin had a mournful look on his face, but stayed silent.

"Do you really think she was an assassin like Zevran said?"

"Does it matter?"

"I...I guess not, she just doesn't seem the type."

"And what do you think an assassin should look like or act like?"

"Sneaky, untrustworthy, like Zevran. She is not like that."

"You never truly know a person til you have walked a mile in their shoes. There is a lot about Raven that we don't know, but we all have secrets Alistair, we all have things in our lives we do not want brought to light. If she is an assassin then be thankful for her skills, truly gifted assassins are rare and she is gifted."

"Your right, I just wish she had told me that's all."

"And if she had would you be a close to her as you are now?"

'What do you mean by close?"

"You two are friends aren't you?"

"Well yes, but...that's it. Stop smiling like that."

"The day you two stop dancing around each other you both will be in so much trouble."

"What is that suppose to mean?"

"Your so cute Alistair. In time I think you will figure it out." He watched Leliana close the tent flaps and racked his brain to figure out what she meant. He did like Raven, that was true, but what would she want with someone like him? He had nothing to offer her.

OoO

Ashlyn woke to find herself in her own tent. She looked around and saw that she was not alone in the tent. She could tell it was Leliana for the red hair and the soft snoring. Slowly she crept out of her tent and went to warm herself by the fire. Her ribs ached and her head was spinning, but she did not want to sleep anymore.

"You shouldn't be out of bed yet." She cocked her head to the side and gave Alistair a withered look.

"I'm fine."

"You were almost crushed to death by an ogre. Your not fine."

"I'm still here aren't I?"

"Only because the other women coming to help us."

"I just want to be a lone for a bit if you don't mind?"

"I do mind, we need to talk."

"About what?"

"Why you ran off."

"Leave it alone Alistair. It is none of your business."

"I thought you trusted me, I thought we were friends."

"I don't have any friends Alistair. We are...acquaintances tasked to do an impossible quest. It is better we leave it at that." She hated seeing the look of utter hurt on his face. There was nothing more that she wanted to do but to hold him to her and never let go. She knew if she did he would die just like everyone else she ever cared about. She would save him that fate.

"Whatever you think is best." His voice was like ice and it made her wince internally. The pain in his eyes was worse than the pain in her head or her ribs. "I'll just leave you alone then." Ashlyn waited til he was out of her sight line to break down and cry. She did not care that her ribs screamed at her, nor did she care if a darkspawn came along to finish her off right at that moment.

'Warden?" Ashlyn turned and growled at the elf hoping he did not see the tear tracks running down her cheeks.

"I have nothing to say to you. Leave me alone."

"And if I don't?"

"I will geld you."

"I doubt you can. I have no doubt of your skill, but I was trained from a young age to be what I am."

"I didn't think it took much to be a colossal prig. Glad to see you worked at it."

"If you will allow me to give you some advice."

"Do I have a choice?"

"If you care for him do not push him away. Being what we are, our lives are full of death, you need a light in the dark to keep it at bay."

"He deserves better than me."

"Isn't that for him to decide?"

"It sounds like you are talking from experience."

"I just know the life of an assassin is a lonely one, you have to take comfort and passion when you can. If it is passion you want I am more than happy to oblige you."

"As much as that is a lovely offer Zevran, you are not my type."

"Because I am an elf?"

"No, because you are and ass and I happen to like nice men."

"I can be nice."

"I make it a policy to never become involved with people who have tried ti kill me, business or no. No please leave me alone. I want to have some peace."

"As you wish, but the offer still stands. There is nothing worse than a cold bed." She watched him retreat back to his tent, leaving her alone by the fire. A soft whine came from behind her and she felt Jaq headbutt her back. She turned and wrapped her arms around the large hounds neck and buried her head in his fur.

"At least I will always have you on my side right boy?" Jaq gave a short happy bark and she laughed a bit. "I'm making a mess of this life aren't I?" He tilted his head and whined at her before giving her a big slobbery kiss. "Desara was right, we always end up destroying what we love, but I can't get too close to them. It will get them killed."

OoO

Alistair had kept his distance form her since that night. When he did speak to her it was to get orders and nothing more. He talked to Leliana and Wynne, but was silent to the others. Ashlyn had thrown up every wall she could to prevent any of them from getting to close. She did not want their sympathy or their friendship, if it meant she would only end up losing it. When they finally got to Honnleath, Ashlyn had completely closed down to all her friends.

"Why is she doing this? What did you say to her?"

"I didn't say anything. She said she just wanted us to be acquaintances tasked with a impossible mission."

"But I thought she liked you?"

"Liked me?" Leliana's hand went up to cover her mouth. She had said too much.

"You can't be that blind, can you?"

"Pardon?"

"She is starting to fall for you and I think is scares her."

"Why shut down on all of us though?"

"She did lose her family, she might be afraid to lose the rest of us too."

"Maker breath you might be right."

"We need to help her. I hate seeing her like this. She looks so miserable."

'How can we if she won't even talk to us?"

"Leave that to me."

"Why I am suddenly worried."

OoO

"Die already!" Ashlyn flew at a hurlock alpha and buried her daggers into it's fetid skin. She took out her misery on any of them that crossed her path and she relished the sight of their life leaving their bodies. They were a substitute for the person she really wanted to kill, but they would do for now. "Morrigan move!" She saw the witch duck as she flung a dagger into the creatures throat. Holding out her hand Ashlyn muttered a word and the dagger dislodged itself from the darkspawn and flew back into her hand.

"How in the Void did you do that?" She saw all of her companions eyes on her and she felt the heat of a blush crawl up her neck.

"Their enchanted."

"I can see that, but most of the times it is to do damage not to be called back to their owner. Where did you get them?"

"From the Dalish clan I stayed with years ago. They were a gift for saving the granddaughter of the Keeper."

"Dalish hate humans."

"They did not see me as a human. I was one of them. This is not the time for this discussion. We need to see if there is anyone left alive in this place and hopefully get the stupid command word for that golem out there."

"Let me heal that cut on your arm first before it gets infected dear."

"It will keep. We need to move on." Alistair grabbed her other arm and held her to the spot.

"Let Wynne heal you." She glared into his hazel eyes, but relented with a nod. Once Wynne was satisfied the wound was healed she gestured for them to move on. Alistair let the others go on ahead but held Ashlyn back. "Look I don't care if you don't want to get close to any of us, but I will be damned if I let you get yourself sick or worse killed. I can't do this alone and the others, this is not their fight."

"Are you done?"

"No, I'm not. What happened to make you do a complete turn around from the woman I met at Ostagar. Or even the woman who cried on my shoulder not two weeks ago? Did I do something? Please Raven we can't go on like this. The others are starting to question your leadership, as am I. Your trying to get yourself killed and I can't stand by and watch it happen."

"I...it is better to lose all of you now then to lose you when..." He did not let her finish. His arms snaked around her and his chin rested on her head. She stiffened at first then melted into his embrace. "I'm sor...sorry."

"Don't be, I might act like an idiot, but I do understand how you feel. Duncan and the other Wardens are the only family I have ever known, ever felt a part of. Aside for Morrigan and Zevran this group feels like a family now too. Your the one holding us together Raven. Without you the rest of us are very lost, I hope you know that."

"I just don't want to lose anymore people I care about. I am so tired of the nightmares, the never ending guilt. Why did I live when they didn't? Should I have stayed fought harder to save them instead of going with Duncan? I have no answers and it terrifies me."

"There are no answers. All we can do is continue this fight and pray we win."

"Using my own words against me?"

"They are wise words from a wise woman. You said we are in this together, bound by blood and by tragedy. I hope that is not always the case."

"Is there life after a Blight for a Warden?"

"Let's survive it and find out."

"Alistair I'm...I am not a good person. I've done so many things in my life that I am not proud of. Your a good person, you deserve so much better than me."

"Have you slaughtered a litter of puppies?"

"Maker no."

"Consorted with demons?"

"Never."

"Do you think Loghain did the right thing?"

"You know I don't."

"Then I don't see what you could have done wrong to make me not want to be in your life."

"You are...a silly, silly man." She smiled despite herself.

"There is the pretty, but menacing smile I have come to know and love."

"Love?"

"Well you do have a very pretty smile." Ashlyn could see the blush running right up his neck into his checks.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For being you and making me realize I was being a bitch."

"Your welcome, now shall we go make sure the rest of our merry band is not dead fighting darkspawn down in the cellar?"

"If we have to." He gave a light chuckle and pushed her along down the narrow hallway. They fought another group of darkspawn and found what was left of the inhabitants of Honnleath. They were told the command word to activate the golem and were told to get the thing as far away from the town as they could.

"Well here it is, are you sure about this?" Alistair eyed the large stone statue. It looked like it could break them all in half.

"No, but what's the harm? It could be useful."

"It killed it's last owner."

"Wilhelm had a very large ego problem."

"And you would know this how?"

"He served Queen Moria and then King Maric during the rebellion. He was given this town as a gift for his service, but he let it go to his head."

"I don't even want to know how you know all this about him."

"You've never heard the stories growing up?"

"I never really cared about them, no."

"I grew up hearing all of them since my father fought in the war."

"So what did this thing do?"

"From what my father told me it pummeled Chevaliers into paste."

"Okay, I can see where it would be useful against darkspawn, but is it worth risk?"

"Only one way to find out." Ashlyn held the control rod up to the golem and repeated the words Wilhelm's son had told her. The statue moved a little then slammed it's fist down at her. Alistair pulled her out of the way just before the blow connected.

"Are you alright?"

"Fine, Maker this thing is homicidal."

'This coming from the assassin."

"You think your so cute don't you?"

"I try."

"What does it want?" Ashlyn was surprised to see the golem could talk.

"It?"

"Yes, it has the control rod, so what does it want?"

"I want to stop the Blight."

"And I suppose you need a golem for that?"

"It would be nice, but if you are not willing I won't force you to help us."

"Not willing? You have the control rod you can command me to do whatever you wish."

"I don't wish you to do anything. I am asking for your help."

"It is a strange one. I am use to being ordered around. Golem kill that bandit, or Golem carry my things, or Golem I tire of walking carry me."

"I can kill bandits on my own, I carry my own things and I can walk on my own two feet."

"So you are not like the vile little mage that use to own me?"

"Being I am still alive and I don't want a slave, then yes I am different from him. So this rod controls you?"

'Yes, whoever holds it can make me do what ever they want. Go ahead command me."

"Stand on one leg." When the golem did not do the command Ashlyn tilted her head and tried another. "I command you to take a step to the right."

"I don't feel the compulsion to do what you asked. How strange."

"So this thing does not work?" She held up the control rod and waved it around a bit.

"It appears that is the case."

"Guess I am glad I got it for free then. So now what? What will you do?"

"I don't know, I have never had the option of doing anything I was not ordered to do. It said it was fighting the Blight, yes?"

"Yes we are and we could use all the help we can get."

"Since I know nothing of life outside this village I will travel with you a while. If nothing else it should be enlightening."

"What do I call you?"

"Shale."

"Well Shale welcome to our eclectic little group." Shale walked off and Alistair stood next to Ashlyn shaking his head.

"First the assassin and now a golem that can't be controlled. I am seriously questioning your sanity."

"Well anytime you want to take the lead just let me know. I will give it up gladly." She placed her hands on her hips and stared at him from under her hood.

"On second thought forget I said anything."

"Knew that would change your tune. I am thinking going to the dwarves next since we are on this side of the mountains. It is too dangerous to go near Redcliffe right now."

"I agree, after running into Loghian's men near the Tower I don't want to have to go through that again. Hopefully they will have moved on."

"Hopefully. At least we have something now to help us break down doors."

"I was so looking forward to using Morrigan as a battering ram though."

"Alistair your evil."

'This coming from the woman who is assassin trained."

"Watch yourself."

"Or what?" Alistair lifted his chin to insight a challenge, but the look in his eyes told her he was playing around.

"Or I...Maker you infuriating." Ashlyn cursed herself for not having a come back to his challenge this time. All her witty lines she would normally be able to zing at him were gone in the mush that had become her brain. She both loved and hated that he could do this to her without even trying.

"You love it and you know it."

"Just start walking." She gave her fellow Warden a playful push toward the road.


	6. Chapter 6

Orzammar was not what she expected. Ashlyn had only seen dwarves a few times in her life and they were all like Bodahn and Sandal, merchants. The fact she was under a ceiling of stone over a dozen feet thick did not help either. Upon arrival they found out that the King had died and now Orzammar was in a state of civil war. With no King to show the treaty to they were stuck trying to figure out what to do next. At least they had been let in unlike Loghain's men who were turned away at the door. It would have turned into a fight had she not had Sten at her back looking like he was ready to rip the men's arms off just to beat them to death with them. They ran off with out so much as a challenge. Once they went inside the doors it did not take long for them to find out just how bad it really was here.

"Just the greeting you want when you go somewhere, a murder." She gave Alistair a side glance, but kept her eyes on the crowd that was now running away.

"This is not good at all." She heard guards yelling and decided it would be better not to be seen near the crime. "Come on let's ask around and see who we should talk to. I don't want to get involved in this if we don't have to." After much digging they found out there were two candidates for King. One the brash youngest son of the former King and the other a much more level headed man who was the King's most faithful advisor.

"Who do you want to try to back?"

"Something about Bhelen does not sit well with me. I say Harrowmont, but I want your opinion."

"Why?"

"Because we are in this together and your opinion matters to me."

"That's a first. I am not use to any one listening to me."

"I have always listened to you, so who would you back?"

"Harrowmont."

"And why is that?"

"I trust your judgment."

"Your impossible. Alright so Harrowmont it is. Now to go see him and get this started."

OoO

"So you are going to fight in the Proving! Are you mad?"

"It is the only way to prove to Harrowmont we aren't working for Bhelen. This won't be the first time I have had to do this kind of fighting."

"I don't even want to know. I don't want you out there. I'll do it. They get one good hit in that armor, if you can call that armor and you'll be really hurt."

"That is why I am using this armor." He saw her hold up a set of splintmail armor much like the kind he was wearing. "Feel better."

"No. You don't know how to fight in weighted armor."

"You've seen me use a sword and shield right?" Alistair nodded. "I was trained as a warrior. I might be a bit rusty, but I am sure I will do fine."

"Just in case I will be standing on the side if you need help." He watched her walk away to change into the armor and his heart felt like it would beat right out of his chest. He closed his eyes and tried to still the feeling he had welling up inside him. "_This is ridiculous. I've only known this woman for two months. I can't be...can I? Maker help me."_ When she returned he could only stare at her. Raven had a mask on instead of her normal war paint. It covered her cheeks and above, but her lips still showed. Her cloak was gone and her hair which he had normally seen in a ponytail was in a tight bun at the base of her neck. "Raven?"

"It's the mask right? I was afraid the paint would wear off when I was fighting. Um, I could not reach to snap the rest of my back plate...could you?"

"Sure." Alistair looked down at her back plate and saw she got all but the one that ran just above her where her breast band ran. His eyes tried to focus on the leather straps, but his gaze fell on her smooth pale neck. Thoughs that would have had him in confession for weeks popped into his head and his fingers froze. He bent his head down fighting with himself about kissing the back of her neck. His breath must have ghosted across her skin because he saw her shiver.

"Almost done?" Her voice broke his lust haze and he fumbled with the strap til it was on tight.

"Sorry metal encased fingers make it hard to..."

"I remember. My brother could never get suited up on his own. His wife and I had to learn how to help him as quickly as possible. See why I wear what I wear, no complicated straps, no clanking. I like the fact no one can hear me coming."

"Now they can. Please be careful out there." Ashlyn smiled at her fellow Warden and rose up on her toes. Her lips brushed his cheek and before he could react she was gone. His hand reached up and touched the cheek she had just kissed. Leliana giggled from behind him breaking the haze he was in.

"You worry too much Alistair. Raven knows what she is doing."

"I bet she does." "_She has to know what she is doing to me. If she doesn't...then she is as bad at this as I am. What am I thinking, she's a rogue. She probably had many lovers and would find me...Maker need to stop thinking now."_

OoO

Ashlyn rolled around her opponent using her shield as a buffer between them. The dwarf cursed and fell forward flat on his face. She waited for him to get to his feet before continuing. The dwarf charged and she locked her knees to brace herself for the impact. He bounced off her shield and lashed out with his hand ax and she parried it with her sword.

"While I respect you Warden you have no right to fight in our Proving."

"I respect you as well now shut up and fight. I have a Blight to stop." Ashlyn gritted her teeth and pushed forward to finish the fight. Round after round got harder, but Ashlyn was stubborn and was not about to give up. Ever so often her eyes fell on Alistair standing in the wings wincing with ever hit she took. The last round was called and she had to face four men.

"Warden you have the choice of fighting alone against these four men or you are allowed to have a team at your back."

"My team will consist of myself and my fellow Warden." She said it loud enough to make Alistair jump.

"As you wish Warden you will be fighting in half an hour. Rest up."

"Are you insane?"

"What?"

"Two against four?"

"We can do it. It's like fighting genlocks, but the smell is a little bit better." A nervous giggle sounded from him and Ashlyn placed a calming hand on his shoulder. "Your the best fighter I have ever seen Alistair between the two of us we can do this."

"I swear you will be the death of me."

"Funny I was thinking the same thing about you. We have a little bit before we fight let's make sure our armor is in working order." He sighed and followed her into the room the dwarves had given to them. Ashlyn shrugged off her shield and flexed her hand. All her muscles ached from the weight of the armor and her weapon. She had not worn armor like this for this amount of fighting in almost a year. She had spent too many years as a rogue. "Maker, I forgot how much armor weighed."

"Try wearing heavy armor and then you can complain." Alistair made sure all her straps and catches were still in the right places. He noticed she had a nasty looking rip in her armor on her back plate.

"You aren't wearing it now."

"Duncan thought I would have a better time in medium. Til I got use to fighting darkspawn anyway."

"Wardens it is time."

"We will be right there. Well ready for this?"

"Yes, but I want you to stay back to back with me."

"Why?" His fingers brushed her skin and she cursed.

"So are we agreed?"

"Yes." Ashlyn felt him push her along toward the fighting ring. Their opponents just glared as they walked by and took their places.

"Who ever wins this bout wins the Proving and honor for your patron. Fighters at the ready!" The battle happened fast. Ashlyn kept her word and stayed with her back to Alistair's. The dwarves they fought did not stand a chance. With them butted up the way they were the dwarves could not get off good hits with their weapons. Alistair had a much bigger reach than she did, but it did not stop her from beating back her two opponents.

"_If these are Bhelen's best men than he is in a lot of trouble. Oren hit harder than they can." _Ashlyn heard Alistair grunt and saw he had been hit the one rogue in the group. Anger flared in her and she shield bashed both her attackers til they fell in heaps on the stone floor. With a twist of her body she she propelled herself at the rogue and lashed out with her father's sword. She heard the dwarf cry out in shock that she could move as fast as she did. Ashlyn dropped her shield and drew her dagger into her other hand. With all the flare that she had been taught she spun both blades. The dwarf was so mesmerized by the speed of the blades he did not see Alistair charge until it was too late. The small stout body flew through the air and landed hard on the ground.

"Raven!" One more opponent was left and he took the opening to strike at her exposed back. Ashlyn ducked the first attack and kicked out with her leg to trip the man. The dwarf stumbled back, but kept his footing. Ashlyn growled and popped back up on her feet. She felt a rush of adrenaline course through her veins and it gave her the power to finish this battle. She flipped her dagger and flung it at the dwarf catching him in the upper arm. It crippled him enough he could not wield his ax against her as she smacked him hard with the side of her sword. The sound it made echoed off the walls of the Proving and the crowd fell silent.

"The Wardens are our new champions. You honor your patron by your actions. Please except this as a token of your triumph here." Ashlyn bowed and took the mace from the dwarf.

"We did it! I can't believe we did it." Ashlyn grinned at Alistair.

"I knew we could. You'd better get Wynne to heal that before it scars."

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For distracting the rogue long enough for me to hit him. I don't fight well against sneaky people."

"Your welcome. You know I could help you with that. I can teach you some tricks to stop us."

"I think I will take you up on that after we get done here. I hope this will be the end of running around down here. I am staring to miss sunshine and the sky above my head."

"Me too. Maker willing we will be out of here soon.

OoO

"Of all the Maker forsaken, stupid place to get stuck. Tell me again why I agreed to go marching down here?"

"We need a Paragon to back Harrowmont so we can get soldiers to help us with the Blight."

"I was hoping not to see this place til we had our Calling you know. This kinda breaks the whole mystique of what we will be facing in about thirty years."

"At least we will not be wandering around blindly then."

'No we are just doing that now." Ashlyn looked back over her shoulder and eyes the drunken dwarf that was now accompanying them. "Oy, Oghren where in the Void are we going?"

"How am I suppose to know? I've never been this far before."

'Why you..." She set herself to haul off and hit the inebriated dwarf, but Alistair caught her arm before she could.

"Harrowmont gave us a map of at least to Ortan Thaig. We're not there yet I don't think."

"Can't I just..."

"No you can't hit him. It is not his fault we are down here."

"I know, but it will make me feel better." Alistair rolled his eyes and pulled her away from the others. His senses could not feel any darkspawn close by so he knew it was safe to wander away a bit. "Why are we leaving the others?"

"You and I need to talk alone. Warden stuff."

"Please tell me it is not anymore bad news about being a Warden. I don't think I could take it."

"No, it is not bad news or even really a Warden secret. I just want to talk away from the others."

"Then why did you say Warden stuff?"

"To get you to walk with me."

'All you had to do was ask. So we are out of ear shot what do you want to talk about?"

"I...Raven..."

"Alistair?" He looked over her shoulder and started to chuckle. "What?"

"Looks like we found Ortan Thaig." Ashlyn turned and followed his pointing finger. "Maker it has seen better days."

"I hear running water. Could there be a fresh water source down here?"

"I doubt it, not with the darkspawn down here."

"Well there goes the idea of washing up. Well let's go see what we can find. Should we go get the others?"

"Let them rest for now. We can scout this out."

"Alistair if I didn't know better I would think you just want to be alone with me." She saw the blush she was beginning to love creep up his neck.

"No, no, no it's just that we are the Wardens and the others don't need to take the risk. I don't want to see them tainted."

"Neither do I. Alright let's go slow and quiet." Ashlyn and Alistair went farther in and stayed close to the shadows. "Look at all the webs."

"We need to be careful. I've heard stories of spiders coming down from the ceiling and pulling men up to their deaths."

"That is comforting. Don't touch the webs what ever you do."

"Why?"

"You never saw a fly caught in a small spider's web. The movement brings the spider."

"Oh."

"Stay here. I am going to see what is out in that clearing."

"Be careful." Alistair watched her sneak out into the clearing. Neither of them saw the spiders til it was too late. He heard her scream as one jumped from the ceiling and landed on her back. It's fangs sunk into her shoulder. The pain of the venom made her pass out immediately. She did not hear Alistair yell for the others, nor did she see him defend her fallen form. Ashlyn drifted off in complete darkness not knowing if she was going to wake up.

**Sorry this chapter is so short. Real life has taken me for a loop these past two weeks. The fact Skyrim has sucked me in isn't helping either. I have a fanfic for that running in my head and it won't leave me alone. Hopefully I will have the next Chapter of this done before the end of next week. Again I want to thank everyone who has read this and also those who have added me to their watch and favorites list. Have a safe and Happy New Year everyone!**

**Raven**


	7. Chapter 7

A burning pain woke Ashlyn from her sleep. She let out a cry of utter anguish and felt warm hands pour healing magic in her and another set of hands hold her down. She heard a murmur of words telling her to fight, to stay. The voice was sweet and so damned familiar. Her brain racked itself to figure out who was talking. She heard other voices in the din, but they too alluded her. Her shoulder felt like it was on fire and nothing would put out the flames. She writhed in pain under the strong hands that held her down. She felt a tickle at her ear and a soft whisper.

"Don't you dare give up. Fight Raven. Come back to me." Her brain snapped back and she remembered this voice. She knew him. Alistair. Her eyes fluttered and opened enough that she could make out his face. It was covered in dirt and gore, but he was still the most handsome man she had ever seen. She stopped fighting and tried to let Wynne and Morrigan heal her. Slowly the blinding pain ebbed away and she relaxed against Alistair's grip. He looked up at the two mages when she stilled. "Is she...?"

"She needs rest Alistair, but she is still with us. She is lucky you were so close. Anymore venom and...well I don't want to think about it. We need to make camp somewhere we can defend."

"I'll ask Leliana and Zevran to see if they can get one of these doors open. Can you two stay with her?"

"Of course." Both women watched him walk to the rest of the group. They shared a look knowing how close it came to losing their leader. "She has a strong will to live doesn't she?"

"But will it be strong enough. You did not tell the fool that she is not out of the woods yet."

"I have faith in her. Raven is not one to give up. I saw that much from her in the Tower."

"I will have to agree. The wounds she suffered at Ostagar would have killed a lesser person. I wonder how Alistair survived."

"You do not like the lad do you?"

"I like him about as much as one likes rotting flesh."

"Point taken." The women wrapped their leader's shoulder and motioned for Sten to come and pick her up. It did not take the two rogues long to find a place that they could make camp. It did not take the rest of the group much time to set up the fire and get the bed rolls set up. Sten laid Ashlyn down on her bed and Wynne propped her up so she could breath better. Alistair could not take his eyes off her. The skin on her arm she had been bitten on was black and blue. She looked paler than normal and her breathing was very shallow. He put his bed roll near hers and tried in vain to get some sleep.

OoO

"Alis...Alistair?" Her voice sounded like she had not talked in days. Her shoulder still had a dull throb, but it felt better. She felt a warm hand touch her arm and she let her eyes slowly open.

"Hey, how are you feeling?"

'Like I had a very large, ugly spider bite me."

"At least your sense of humor is intact. Are you thirsty?"

"Maker, yes." He handed her a canteen and helped her take small sips. She wanted to gulp the water down quickly, but he prevented her from doing it. "How long?"

"Being down here we are not too sure, but three days maybe less."

"Shit!"

"It's not your fault."

"I should have been more careful. I know better. If one of you had gotten hurt because I screwed up..."

"We all are fine. Your the one we were worried about. You need to stop scaring me like that. My poor heart can't take it."

"I'm sorry. So where are we?"

"Otran Thaig."

"Oh good, hopefully we can find this crazy Paragon and leave this place. I am seriously reconsidering our pact we made. How bout we just take poison and never have to come back here again." He shook his head and smiled.

"We have to survive this first."

"It was just a thought." She groaned and sat up only to find her leather vest had been removed. All that stood between her chest being seen by Alistair was the bandages that Wynne had wrapped her in. She quickly cover up as a blush crept up her neck. She felt his hand on her cheek and she blushed even deeper. "I...Al..."

"I need to go get some more water. You rest. I'll be right back." She sighed and laid back down. A small smile graced her face as she let her eyes close again.

'Why are you grinning like a fool?"

"Hello Morrigan."

"Every time I see you two together you both have stupid gins on your faces. Please tell me you are not falling for the Templar."

"What if I am?"

"Then you will be a greater fool than he is. He might be attractive to look at, but when he opens his mouth...it grates on the nerves."

"I never said you had to like him Morrigan. I just asked you two to get along enough so that I don't have to deal with fighting three wars."

"But you do like him?"

"Yes I do. I'm not saying we are getting married tomorrow, but I do want to see where this goes. He is a good man."

"Then I wish you luck, but I still don't see what you and he have in common."

"We don't have to have anything in common to be friends. Look at you and me, what do we have in common other than the fact we both have a good survival instinct. You were raised in the Wilds, me, I was raised I many different ways. We might not be the same Morrigan, but you are my friend and I haven't forgotten the favor you asked of me. It will be done, I swear."

"I am your friend?"

"Yes, you all are."

"I...thank you. I will let you rest." Morrigan shook her head when she was out of Ashlyn's sight. She had never had a friend and the feeling it was giving her cold heart made it hurt. She knew full well she would end up hurting her one and only friend.

OoO

"Okay so we made it through Ortan Thaig and those damned spiders. Now we have to go deeper down in here. I really bloody hate the Deep Roads." She heard Alistair chuckle beside her and Ashlyn looked up and glared at him. "What?"

"Nothing. Looks like the next stop will be the Dead Trenches."

"Why is everything named dead or black or horrible death this way?"

"Because it wouldn't be an adventure if it wasn't."

"Your loving this, aren't you?"

"I just love seeing you freak out about it. It is cute."

"Cute? Maker help me. Alright he who thinks my nervous breakdown is cute. You take point." She pushed him forward and punched his back in the process.

"Ouch, what if there's traps?"

"I am send Zevran up there with you."

"Like he will warn me. Could I please have Leliana instead?" His pup face made her anger melt and she hated him for that. It was impossible to stay mad at him.

"I will be up front with you now let's go. I want to see daylight sometime before I die." They group made their way through the Dead Trenches and met up with a group of dwarves belonging to the Legion of the Dead. They helped the dwarves push back the darkspawn so they could retake the bridge. The buzzing in both Alistair's and Ashlyn's head kept getting louder. Ashlyn felt like someone was whispering to her and she broke off from the group to clear her head. Alistair followed close behind her making her turn around. "I just need a moment alone if you don''t mind."

"I do, because I know what you are feeling. I hear it too. We can't let it get to us."

"How can I stop it. It creeps into my head and it sounds so soothing. I just want to go find it."

"I know, but we can't. It is all a lie and there is nothing good or soothing about the Archdemon."

"Your right I know, stupid huh?"

"No, just I know your tired and still not fully recovered from that bite. I won't let you lose yourself to his song."

"Thank you Alistair. I could never have...if not for you I would not be able to do this." He moved closer to her and she shivered. The look in his eyes made her heart stop. It was a look of complete love and respect. The last time she had seen that was her nephew. "Can I...what I mean is...oh screw it.." She closed the distance and her hand snaked up his neck to bring his head down to her level. She planted her lips on his. He gasped in her mouth, then started kissing her back. His arms went around her pulling her closer. She wished they weren't wearing armor right at this moment. The feel of him against her made her swoon. When his tongue went into her mouth Ashlyn's knees almost gave out. His strong arms held her up a a low rumbling moan sounded from his chest. The finally broke apart panting. Ashlyn had not realized his hand that tangled into her hair knocked off her mask. Even in this low light he could see her face.

"Maker's breath."

"My thoughts exactly. I...I'm sorry...I just..." He cupped her face and leaned down to kiss her gently.

"I've been wanting to do this for a long time, but I have been a coward."

"You are many things Alistair, a coward is not one of them. You are a brave man to put up with me."

"Your not that bad and I wish I knew why you hide this beautiful face of yours." Her hands flew up and found that her mask had been lifted off when his fingers had twisted in her hair.

"You think I am beautiful?"

"Your beautiful, resourceful and other things you would hurt me for not saying."

"I would never hurt you."

"Nor I you. We should go back before they come looking for us." He pulled the mask out of her hair and handed it back to her. She smiled and put it back on.

"Just for a while longer. Hopefully soon I can take it off and leave it off."

"I have one request."

"That being?"

"When we make it back to the surface you let me see your face in the sunlight."

"I can promise that, but please let me wash up before you see me."

"Of course." They lingered there for a moment more neither wanting to let the other go. A loud roar made them both turn around to the chasm that was at their backs. A horrifying twisted dragon flew up from the darkness. Below it the torches of thousands of darkspawn down in the chasm. Ashlyn put her hands over her mouth to stop the scream that was welling up in her throat. Alistair pulled her close to him and shielded her with his body. The dragon landed on another bridge further out in the Dead Trenches. It let out another ear piercing roar and breathed fire over the heads of the darkspawn down below. The darkspawn began to march and the Archdemon flew off into the darkness out of their sight.

"Holy Maker above. How...how do we...stop that!" Alistair shook his head and tightened his grip on her.

"I don't know, I just don't know."

**Writer's block is starting to go away so hopefully I will be updating this story more often. I don't know what I was thinking trying to write three fics, work and take care of my family, but I will try to keep up with all three of my stories. Thanks again to everyone who is reading this story and any of my others. Your favorites, alerts, and reviews have really kept me going through this bout of writers block. **

**Raven **


	8. Chapter 8

Ashlyn stared at the dwarven woman in front of her and wished she had not taken a closer look. At one time this woman was probably pretty, but now she was twisted. Her mind destroyed by betrayal and the taint. The Paragon they had been sent to find was not here either. She was further in to this lost thaig, but Hespeth was not very helpful when asked where Branka might be.

"This is pointless. Her mind is gone Raven. She is of no help to us." As much as she really hated to admit it Morrigan was right. The woman barely acknowledged their presence let alone gave them anything they could use as information.

"Then we go further in and see what we find. We have come this far, I don't want it to be for nothing."

"And if she is dead?"

"Then she is dead and we tell them that."

"And you get none of their help because they will still be dead locked."

"What am I suppose to do Morrigan, lie to them?"

"In needs be yes. The ending of the Blight is all that matters or my mother saved you for nothing." Ashlyn's eyes narrowed at her witch friend and she pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration.

"If you don't like the way I work Morrigan you are free to go home whenever you like." Morrigan's face stayed a mask of disinterest, but her eyes showed fear and Ashlyn knew then she had the woman's attention.

"I said I would help and I will not go back on that Raven. I just don't want to die down here for a rumor."

"You think I do! I want to get back to the surface just as bad as you do. I hate it down here. I miss the sun and the fresh air. I am tired of fighting wave after wave of spiders, darkspawn and whatever else this damned place has to throw at us. We go further in and get this done so we can get the Void out of here. Now move out all of you!" The rest of the group did not hesitate and moved down the hallway away form the tainted dwarf. Alistair fell in step next to Raven and put his hand on her shoulder.

"You alright?"

"Yes, no, Maker I don't know anymore. After seeing that dragon and now that woman...I just don't know what to think anymore. I feel so overwhelmed."

"Would it help me to say you are doing a good job?" She gave him a sideways look and shook her head.

"No, but thank you. It is nice to have someone appreciate what I am trying to do."

"I am right here with you Raven."

"I know and you have no idea how grateful I am for it." She loved seeing him smile. It made her insides go warm and tingly, but she loved it. Zevran was right about one thing she did need something to light her way or she would lose herself to the darkness that was threatening to swallow her whole. Alistair seemed to be that light and she promised herself she would hold on to it, to him for as long as the Maker allowed.

OoO

Ashlyn felt like she had just walked into a nightmare. After fighting a few groups of darpspawn and having to listen to the insane ramblings of Branka's tainted lover along the way Ashlyn's nerves were shot. They had listened to the woman drone on and on for a few hours by that point so after a while Ashlyn just tuned her out. The last word she said though was heard loud and clear. Something in her head made her stop dead in her tracks. What in the name of the Void is a broodmother? She soon got her answer. It was all she could do not to scream at the sight of the monster in front of them. It was a large blob of a thing with many breasts and tentacles. It roared at them and attacked with the wriggling gray appendages. Ashlyn dove one way her friends the other. She knew her daggers would be useless against the thick pale hide so she pulled her father's sword off her back and his shield. The warrior in her cried out to be unleashed and she was more than willing to oblige.

"Raven watch out!" She ducked under one tentacle and sliced another. The monstrous creature screeched in pain and spewed noxious filth into the room. Ashlyn tried not to breath as her stomach turned at the sight. She turned her head enough to see the others fighting both the tentacles and a group of darkspawn that came to the blobs defense. Cursing loudly she decided it was up to her to end the broodmother.

"Maker give me strength." She heard her hound growling behind her. "Jaq go help the others." She heard him whine, but he did as she said and tore into a hurlock that was trying to get a hit on Sten. Ashlyn turned her attention back to the monstrous creature in front of her and took a deep breath. The broodmother roared and tried to wrap her up in it's tentacles. Ashlyn rolled to right and slashed the creature in the side while blocking with her shield. They continued this dance for what seemed like hours. Ashlyn's arms were getting tired and her hits were not doing the damage she would have liked. She dodged one of the writhing arms only to have another nearly slam her. She looked up and saw Alistair standing at her side with his shield in front of both of them.

"Need some help?" He gave her a wry smile which she returned.

"What took you so long?"

"You know how it is. Darkspawn just can't take no for an answer."

"Darn darkspawn." He laughed despite what they were facing. "Together then?"

"Together." Both Wardens rolled to either side and attacked in sync. The others had finished off the remaining darkspawn and were watching their leader with awe.

"She is a rogue not a warrior? How...?" Zevran looked perplexed and Leliana shrugged her shoulders.

"There is much about Raven we don't know Zev. Maker's breath she is just as good as Alistair with a shield."

"Maybe better." Ashlyn let out a warrior yell and leap up into the air. Her sword came down right in the broodmother's chest. The creature gave a violent shiver before slumping over. After she was sure it was dead she herself fell over in complete exhaustion.

"Raven are you hurt?"

"No just bloody tired. I'm not use to using a sword and shield anymore." Leliana held out her hand and helped Ashlyn to her feet.

"One of these days friend you and I will have sit down and you can tell me how it came to be a warrior turned into a rogue."

"Gladly, once we get the Void back up to the surface."

"Alistair are you alright?" Wynne went into motherly mode and looked the young man over without touching him.

"Other than being covered in darkspawn blood and Maker knows what else I'm fine." He took one last look at the broodmother and shivered. He saw raven had walked a little bit away from the others and he could tell she was shaking. He saw Zevran start heading for her, but Leliana stopped him and nodded to Alistair. He came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist while his chin rested on her head. "It's okay." She turned in his arms and began to sob.

"It is not okay. None of this is okay. She let them do that to...Maker is that what I will become if I don't die down here on my Calling."

"I will never let that happen to you. I promise you Raven."

"I'm holding you to it. We need to get moving."

"Yes we do." Ashlyn looked over her shoulder and saw Oghren starring at the broodmother. She walked over to him placing a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"Did you know her?"

"Yeah, and her husband. They didn't deserve this Warden. I can't believe Branka would have let this happen."

"I think we will only get the answer from Branka herself, but if she did let this happen and did nothing to help these poor people...I'm sorry Oghren, but I might just have to kill her. Or on the very least kick her ass from here to Denerim."

"I'll help ya. All this does not sound like the woman I married. She was always a bit off, but...this is..."

"Inexcusable." He nodded numbly and walked away. "Let's move out." The rest of her companions fell in step behind her.

OoO

Ashlyn felt sorry for Oghren. The woman he had pined after for over two years was now dead. Branka had been driven to madness by her quest for the Anvil of the Void. It cost the woman her life. Ashlyn decided that the anvil was far too dangerous and the price too high to let it keep existing. In the end she, much to Shale's delight sided with the Paragon Caridin. He crafted a crown for her to give to whomever she saw fit to rule Orzammar. She chose Harrowmont. He confirmed his promise of men to aide them against the Blight. The group was given fresh clothes and were able to bathe before leaving the city It took every ounce of her strength not to run for the main gate that led out of the city. She didn't care if ti was day or night she just needed to see sky and breath fresh air. Once outside she was happy to see it was near sunset. The sky was a mix of pinks and grays.

"I just need a minute."

"You alright Oghren?"

"The sky...I feel like I am going to fall up into it."

"Take as much time as you need. I know this has to be weird to you." He nodded and closed his eyes trying to stop the queasy feeling building in his stomach. "Zev stay with him for me please I...I just need to go hug a tree or something to show my appreciation for being back up here." She grabbed Alistair's hand and led him away from the group.

"Where are we going?"

"I just wanted some space from them and I did make you a promise. You wanted to see me without my mask and face paint so before the sunsets I want to fulfill that promise."

"Raven you don't..."

"I want to. I want someone at least to see who I really am." She made sure no one else from their group had followed. She turned her back to him and first took off the leather mask she had been wearing. Next she untied her cloak and let it fall to the ground. Ashlyn took a deep breath and turned around to face Alistair. "Well?"

"Maker, your beautiful. Why do you hide yourself behind that mask?"

"I've done things I am not proud of in my life Alistair. I have enemies that would love to see me dead. I don't want my past mistakes to hurt any of you."

"What did you do?"

"I..."

"On second thought I don't need to know. We all have pasts that we want to forget. I prefer to look toward the future." She smiled and wrapped her arms around his waist.

"The future?"

"Well that is if we can stop Loghain, the darkspawn and kill the Archdemon, then we will have a future."

"Well we have two out of the four we need help from."

"Four? We only have three treaties."

"Arl Eamon and his men make it four."

"Oh, I almost forgot about that. Where do you want to go from here?"

"To make camp and rest for a few days them we can discuss it. My brain can't handle anything more than that tonight."

"Can it handle this?" His lips found hers and Ashlyn had to bite back a moan. Her finger ran up and twisted in his short hair pulling him closer. She did not want the kiss to end, but both of them were out of breath soon enough.

"No, but Maker I would be a fool to not want you to do it again." Alistair chuckled and hugged her to him.

"I will take that as you liked it."

"Yes."

"Good, we'd better get back before that start talking."

"I really don't care if they do talk, but your right we need to make camp before it gets too cold."

"Lead the way then."

**I am very sorry for the delay on this story. My laptop decided to go haywire and I lost a lot of my work. Thank you all for you patience and for reading.**

**Raven**


	9. Chapter 9

Ashlyn could not sleep. The memory of the broodmother haunted her. She tried in vain to quiet her mind and ended up getting dressed and heading out to the fire. Leliana was on watch and soon it would be her turn. She sighed and sat down on a fallen log at the edge of their camp fire. The strange sensation of her front being warm and her back being cold made her shiver.

"Raven your watch isn't for another two hours. Are you alright?"

"I am fine Lel. Just can't get the sight of that..."

"Neither can the rest of us. That poor woman, no one should have to be turned into that."

"No they shouldn't." Ashlyn stared into the fire, poking it with a stick absentmindedly.

"Are you sure you're alright?"

"Just can't sleep is all. I can take over the watch. You should go get some sleep Lel."

"If you're sure?"

"I'm sure." Leliana gave her friend one last look before disappearing into her tent. Ashlyn got off the log and stretched her back. Jaq padded his way from Sten's tent and sat next to his master. Ashlyn's fingers began to scratch behind his ears, but her gaze stayed straight ahead into the fire. He mind wandered to her last night in Highever, all the death and pain. Even if they stopped the Blight she knew her life would never go back to the way it had been. There was no home to go back to, no family to welcome her if she did survive. All the things she had done, the pain she had inflicted on her family and now there was no way of making it up to her parents. They were gone and she remained.

"Isn't it a little early for you to be on watch?" Ashlyn turned her head slowly and saw her fellow Warden smiling at her. She tried to give him a smile back, but fell far short.

"I couldn't sleep."

"Ah, the lovely darkspawn nightmares. Want some company?"

"Sure." She sat back down on the log and patted the spot next to her. Once he was seated she leaned into him.

"The nightmares get easier to deal with as you go along. It always worse during a Blight though, lucky us."

"The nightmares I can handle for the most part. It's the nightmares I have that have nothing to do with darkspawn."

"Your family?" She nodded into his shoulder and felt a strong arm wrap around her. "Raven..."

"I'm not really ready to talk about it."

"Whenever you are ready I am here." She sighed and snuggled in closer to him. "Any idea where we should head next?"

"I think we will head toward Denerim. We will need supplies soon and I want to check out Soldier's Peak for Levi."

"I would have thought you would want to go to Redcliffe. We can resupply there."

"From what I remember of Redcliffe there really isn't much of a market place. It is mostly just fish stalls and produce. I also have another reason for going to Denerim, I want to see who is with Loghain and who is not. We might just need that information as this war goes on."

"Sounds like you have done things like this before."

"Any good assassin knows that information will make or break you. The more you know about your enemy or mark the better you are at ending them."

"Remind me never get on your bad side."

"There are only two men on my bad side right now and once I get my hands on them, they will pay for what they have done."

"They will pay, of that I am certain." The dark shadow the crossed his eyes mirrored her own and they sat in silence for a while. Ashlyn wasn't sure when it happened or how, but some time after they fell silent she fell off to sleep. It might have been the warmth of him or the slow sound of his beating heart that helped lull her to sleep, but it was the soundest sleep she had in quite a while. No nightmares, darkspawn or otherwise, just a dreamless restful sleep.

OoO

The weather was not on their side as they tried to make their way to Denerim. Winter was setting in and storm forced the intrepid band to go south towards Redcliffe. Ashlyn was not very happy about it since she was afraid she might be recognized, but they had no real choice. It was go there or risk freezing to death in the storm. Practicality won out over fear.

"How much longer do we have to trudge in the cold?"

"No one told you to wear barely anything Morrigan. I offered you some warmer clothes and you told me to, what was it again...stuff if. The offer still stands if you have changed your mind."

"To the Void with you Raven."

"Hey I am nice and warm, you my dear friend will go to the Void much sooner than I will." Morrgain growled and stalked off in front of the group. Ashlyn heard Alistair give a quiet chuckle before falling into to step with her.

"I don't think she would let anyone else get away with talking to her like that."

"You talk to her like that all the time Alistair. I just push her buttons out of friendship rather than spite."

"I still don't see how you can be her friend, she is such a..." Ashlyn placed her hand on her fellow Warden's mouth and wagged her finger at him.

"None of that serah." His voice came out muffled as he tried to speak to her with her hand still firmly over his mouth. "What?" She removed the hand and waited for him to repeat himself.

"I said I'm sorry. I know you count her as a friend, but it doesn't mean I will not take my shots if the opportunity presents itself."

"Just try not to do it in front of me alright?"

I promise to behave myself."

"Good." Redcliffe castle came into view and both Wardens stopped dead in their tracks.

"What are you two waiting for let's get down there and get close to a nice fireplace? My poor toes are frozen." Alistair began to fidget as did Ashlyn, but neither of them noticed the sudden fear in the other.

"We'll be along shortly Lel. Go on ahead." The rogue nodded and followed quickly after the others retreating forms. "Maker, I really don't like this place."

"Why?"

"I use to come here as a child and it always smelled like rotting fish. It would take weeks to get the smell out of my clothes and hair. The people here are nice enough, but the Arlessa needs a few lessons in humility."

"You know Lady Isolde?"

"Only by reputation."

"Before we go down there and meet the others there is something I have to tell you Raven." She could see he was shaking a little, but chalked it up to the cold. His face on the other hand gave away he was afraid of something and that worried her more than anything.

"What do you have a girl here and don't want me to fawn all over you while we are here?"

"No, Maker stop making this harder on me." He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck, trying desperately to find the words to tell her what he should have months ago. "I told you I was raised here right? That my mother was a serving girl in the castle and Eamon took me in."

"Yes."

"The reason he took me in was because I was...I am Maric's son."

"Maric as in King Maric?"

"Yes. I should have told you before, but it never seemed to be the right time and the longer it went..." She wanted to be angry with him, but how could she? She was guilty of the same thing.

"Does Loghain know?"

"Why wouldn't he, he was Maric's best friend. Now you know why they told Zevran to kill the male Warden."

"So with both Maric and Cailan gone...you would be the heir to the throne, right?"

"Maker I hope not. If anyone deserves it, it's Eamon. It was always told to me I was a commoner and in no way in line for the throne. I prefer to keep it that way."

You might not be able to. With no other surviving descendant of Calanhad's blood..."

"I am a Warden and a bastard...no one wants me on the throne. Eamon would probably try, but I would just be a puppet. I don't want that life Raven. I know nothing of the game of politics, nor do I ever want to know it."

"I understand."

"You do?"

"Yes I do. I don't blame you for hiding your parentage, especially since they told you that you were nothing. It is their lose to be honest. I think you are a wonderful man Alistair."

"Stop or you will make me blush, so you really aren't mad I kept this from you?"

"Not in the slightest. We all have our secrets in life." His smile then was enough to make whatever residual anger she felt about him not telling her disappear. "We should catch up to the rest of our eclectic group before someone kills each other or something. I will not tell them unless you want me to."

"It will come out while we are here I guarantee you that. Eamon will voice it I am sure."

"It is your life Alistair, do not let him dictate to you what to do with it."

"Only you are allowed to do that."

"I didn't want to just come out and say it..., but in all seriousness you have to stand up for yourself against me and anyone else who tells you what to do with your life."

"I...I will think about it." She nodded and started walking down the hill toward the town. Silently she made a vow to protect Alistair whether he wanted her to or not. She failed his brother, failed her family she would not fail him.

OoO

The mood in Redcliffe was less than cheery as the Wardens and their companions followed the man who met them at the bridge heading into the town. Tomas the man said his name was led them to the Chantry and Ashlyn's blood began to run cold. The last time she had been here she had unwittingly walked into a mage's Harrowing. The poor mage was not able to resist whatever they had done to her and she turned into the most horrid monster Ashlyn had seen thus far in her life. If it had not been for a quick thinking Templar Ashlyn would have been severely hurt or dead. The young man had thrown himself in front of her taking the blow meant for her. She never got to know his name of thank him for what he had done. Even his face was a mystery, hidden behind his helmet. Alistair broke Ashlyn from her thoughts by tapping her shoulder.

"Afraid you and Morrigan will burst into flames if you go in there?"

"No, just taking in the damage that has been done to the place."

"Not exactly what you would expect when you come to the Chantry is it?" Ashlyn's stomach did a flip. Those where the exact same words uttered by the knight who risked his life for her all those years ago in this very Chantry. "Are you alright? Your eyes look like they are about ready to pop out of your head."

"I'm...I'm fine." She really wasn't, but after taking a deep breath she walked up the stairs and into the Chantry. "_Maker give me strength for this."_

**I wanted to thank one of my readers for reviewing this story and helping me fix some pretty bad mistakes I made in spelling and other things. I enjoy any type of feedback as long as it is not negative. It helps make me a stronger writer. I am still a bit rusty, having not written in many years and the mistakes I were making came from lack of practice and application. So a very big thank you to Interga Hawke for helping me out and hopefully this chapter is not as error riddled. As always thank you all for reading.**

**Raven **


	10. Chapter 10

The news about Arl Eamon being ill did not help Ashlyn's frayed nerves. Neither did the fact the town was attacked nightly by the walking dead. Bann Teagan, younger brother to the Arl greeted them and tried to fill in as much as he could what had happened. As he spoke Ashlyn's eyes roamed around the main room and she could not stop from cringing. She saw both very young and very old huddling together, shaking in fear. A small girl asked one of the sisters where her mother was and the old woman could only shake her head sadly. Others were whispering in fearful tones around the large room. This place held enough bad memories for her and now it seemed it would give her a few more.

"_Maker, why? Is nothing about all this going to be easy? Do we have to fight for ever inch just to get ahead of the Blight?" _The feel of lips at her ear made her snap out of her thoughts. She turned her head ever so slightly to see Alistair's warm hazel eyes staring at her with concern.

"Teagan asked who you are?" She was thankful for her fellow Warden more and more. He was making sure she did not look the fool.

"You may call me Raven my lord."

"We would be grateful for your help Raven. What is left of our soldiers are in sore need of rest. Most of these men and women are farmers or fishermen, not warriors."

"We will help in any way we can."

"Talk to Murdock, he is out near the smithy. He will tell you what needs to be done."

"We will take our leave for now then." She bowed and began to walk away.

"Your accent...are you from Highever my lady?"

"Yes."

"Is it true...is Bryce and his family dead?" She saw the pain in his eyes and it took all her strength to answer him without her voice shaking.

"There is a small chance Fergus Cousland still lives, but the rest of his family are gone. As well as all who lived in the castle."

"I had hoped...if one of the Couslands survived they would be a strong voice against Loghain."

"How?"

"The Couslands are the oldest living noble family in all of Ferelden. They are well respected and their word carries much weight."

"Then I pray Fergus Cousland still lives."

"As do I." Ashlyn nodded her head and walked fast out of the Chantry. She had to get away from this place and Teagan's words. She was disgusted with herself even more now. It was her fault her family was dead, her fault Teagan's nephew was also dead. Once she got outside she mumbled something about having to find a privy and ran from her group. Leliana stopped Alistair from following her, knowing her friend needed a few moments to collect herself.

"Give her a few minutes."

"Maker, what is bothering her now?"

"Bann Teagan mentioned Highever." Alistair's eyes followed her retreating form and his heart lurched.

"Maker's breath...her family."

"Just let her collect her wits, she'll be back soon."

"We will go talk to Murdock then. See what we can do."

"I say let this filthy little village burn."

"No one asked you Morrigan. We are helping, you have a problem with it take it up with Raven when she comes back, but for now we do what I say." The witch narrowed her eyes at him, but said nothing. Without a look back Alistair marched over to Murdock.

OoO

Ashlyn sat staring out at the water. Her stomach hurt from the dry heaves she had experienced after she ran from the Chantry. Silently she cursed herself for being weak. All the years of training as a warrior and then as a cold blooded killer had not prepared her for all of this. If Fergus was gone, then Highever falls to her to rule over, but because of her past her word in the Landsmeet holds no wait. She was a joke to the nobles. Rumors of what she had done for the three years she was gone ran through the noble circles like wildfire. Some thought she had been with child and her family hid her and the child, others thought she had a lover somewhere in the Free Marches. Some were more sympathtic and thought she had been kidnapped by elves and brainwashed. Even after her father quelled all the rumors she was still pariah. The few suitors she did have were looking to tame her, break her of her wild spirit. Ashlyn would have none of it. She did not want to fade quietly into the background, be the dutiful wife and let the warrior in her die a long painful death. If anything she would rather die than have that happen.

"Warden?"

"Over here Sten?"

"The dwarf is here." Ashlyn quirked her eyebrow up at her very large friend.

"Dwarf?"

"The one who has my sword. That man we were to talk to mentioned him. The others are dealing with the blacksmith. You and I will go deal with the thief that has my sword."

"Sounds like a plan. Do we know where he lives?"

"Over there. They said he has a shop up with the dwellings."

"Let's see if we can find him." She stood on shaky legs and followed after Sten. It did not take long for them to find the supplies shop, but it was empty save a few barrels of oil. Ashlyn looked over the small scraps of paper and found the deed to a home in the town. "Looks like his home is on the back side of the town right off the lake. Should we see if he is home?"

"Yes." She shook her head and smiled. Sten was a man of few words, but they always counted when he did talk. Of all of her companions he was the one she knew was not the least bit curious about why she wore a mask. He excepted this is what she was. It was rather refreshing to her. The dwarfs home was not far from his shop. Sten tried to open the door only to find it locked. Before she could stop him he beat on the door with such a force it knocked it partially off the top hindges.

"Stop! Let me try to pick the lock." Lockpicking was one of her weakest skills, but she had learned enough to get by. Praying it was not a complicated lock she took her picks and got to work.

"It isn't working."

"The lock is unbalanced because of the door being damaged. I might have been able to pick it before, but not now. Guess we do this the old fashioned way."

"Old fashioned way?" Ashlyn smiled and kicked the door clean off it's hinges. She knew full well had he not softened it up for her. "Ah, yes I see."

"Hello, anyone home?" When she poked her head inside the house she found a very startled and angry dwarf flanked by two humans.

"Give me a reason not to kill you for breaking into my home." Sten walked up behind her and she pointed her thumb back at him.

"He's the one good reason."

"Fine, what do you want?"

"I am looking for a sword. One made for a very large person."

"I might have one, but it will cost you." Sten growled and took a threatening step forward. Ashlyn placed her hand on his chest and pushed back on him a bit.

"You see the thing is the sword belongs to him and he really wants it back. If I were you I would just give it too him before it gets ugly."

"There are three of us and only two of you."

"Yeah, I know doesn't seem fair does it Sten?"

"No. They do not stand a chance."

"You see gentlemen we fight darkspawn for a living. Fighting you would be child's play." She took out her daggers and began spinning them in her hands. "Now I will ask one more time nicely, please return my friend's sword to him or we will take it by force."

"Alright...alright, take it and leave."

"Nice to see the coward streak in you runs so deep."

"I am no coward."

"Then tell me why are you holed up here while the rest of the town is fighting to survive. A true warrior would stand to protect his home."

"This is not my home human."

"You live here right? You make your money here, it is your home whether you want to acknowledge it or not."

"I like living."

"The darkspawn make it up here and you will wish you were dead. The more people here to fight them gives you that much more of a chance to save your own worthless hide."

"I...what do you want me to do?"

"I want you to get your lazy ass out there and fight. If you help I might be inclined to put in a good word with the Bann and the Arl for you. Your business would become much more profitable. You might even be hero."

"I'll be out there to fight, but I better see you there as well or you are just all talk."

"I will be the one right on the front line." The dwarf nodded and Ashlyn took her leave. Sten waited outside staring at his sword in awe.

"I never thought...when you promised to help me find it, I never thought you would. You must truly be an Ashkarri to find one lost sword in all of this."

"Ashkarri?"

"It means one who seeks. For truth, knowledge...you are such a person. You seek to find your place in this world. Seek a way to ease your pain and protect your home. You have my sword for as long as you need it. I can never repay what you have done for me. I have never called anyone other than my own kind this, but you are kadan to me. It means one held close to the heart."

"Sten...thank you."

"We should find the others. Alistair was upset when you left."

"Did he ask you to come find me?"

"No, I did that of my own accord. You are in pain and needed a distraction from it."

"For being the quiet, stoic one you sure can read people."

"It is the mark of a good leader."

"Maybe I should let you take the lead then."

"No, you are a good leader...you make sure to help everyone else first. You take care of us with little regard to your own pain. It was time to return the favor, take your mind off your worries."

"Again I thank you. So you have your sword back, are you leaving to go home soon?"

"I will return to the Arishok when I have his answer. I do not yet know what the Blight truly is."

"I am glad you are staying. It is nice to have a voice of reason in this crazy group."

"You do attract the strangest people Warden, but they all have their uses."

"That they do."

OoO

"Glad you could join us Raven. Are you quite done with your pity party?" Raven smirked at Morrigan, but did not answer her. She learned long ago not to feed the woman's comments.

"How far have we gotten securing the town?" Alistair shook his head and motioned to the blacksmith's shop.

"I tried to get the man to open the door, so did Wynne, but he told us to piss off."

"Any reason why?"

"His daughter is in the castle and since no one can get near the place to get her, he is refusing to help the men fix their armor and arms."

"Let's see what I can do." Ashlyn gently knocked on the door and waited.

"I said bugger off. I will not help any of you cowards."

"I just want to talk Owen."

"Eh, I don't know your voice...your not from here."

"No I'm not."

"Then I have nothing to say to you either."

"I plan on fighting to protect this village and then go to the castle. I hear your daughter is up there." She heard the door click and open. Bloodshot eyes stared back into her dark blue ones and she caught the heavy stench of too much ale.

"My daughter...she is up in the castle and none of those cowards will lift a finger to save her. She's all I got left in this world."

"Let me in to talk to you, please."

"Two of ya can come in. The rest stays out there."

"I understand. Alistair come with me please." Ashlyn turned to the rest of her group and told them to go help in anything else they could. "We will meet you at the Chantry in a few hours." Once inside the small smithy her eyes watered from the smell of stale ale and piss.

"Somebody's been drinking." If she could have giggled she would have, but it took all her strength not to wretch from the smell.

"So I let you in to talk...so talk."

"I need you to stoke the fires of your smithy again."

"No."

"If the warriors here die so will you. So will your daughter. If there is to be any hope of saving her we must make a stand here and defend the village."

"I...I will start up the fire again if you promise to save her."

"I will do my best."

"No good enough. I need a promise." Ashlyn sighed and saw the pain echoed in his eyes. She wondered if this is how her father had looked when she had disappeared. The look of loss and pain broke her heart.

"I swear on my father's grave if she lives I will find her and bring her back to you." Owen appraised her for a moment and nodded.

"Tell them to give me a few minutes to fire the forge up. I will help as much as I can."

"Thank you." Alistair took her hand and lead her out of the smithy. She thought he would take her to regroup with the others, but he lead her down to the water's edge. "We should get back to the others."

"In a little while."

"Why did you bring me here?"

"To talk."

"I told you I wasn't ready to talk about that yet." Ashlyn crossed her arms over her chest lifting her chin, silently daring him to push it."

"And I can't have you running every time something sets you off. We need to trust one another Raven. I trusted you with my biggest secret now it is your time to trust me." He took her hands in his and gave them a gentle squeeze. "Please." The softness in his gaze made her want to melt into the sand.

"Maker you think you can get anything you want with those puppy dog eyes, don't you?"

"I was always told they were my greatest weapon."

"Alright turn them off you win...you win." Ashlyn shook her head and went to sit on the dock. Alistair sat down right beside her. "My family had been in Highever for as long as anyone could remember. My father was well loved by everyone, as was my mother. My older brother was also very popular with both people in town and abroad. His wife was Antivan, but lacked the heavy accent Zev has. My nephew was the such a silly little child. Even on my worst day he could make me smile. I didn't deserve such a family. They were good people."

"So are you."

"Not after what I did...I ran away."

"To become a Warden?"

"No, years before that. I was fifteen and was to marry a man a barely knew. He was fourteen years my senior and I was scared to death."

"Why would they have you marry a man that much older than you? You were still a child."

"It was to strengthen my family's position in Ferelden. We would have waited two more years for me to come of age, but I wasn't about to sit around and wait that long. I left for three years and he married another. Turns out he loved the woman he married. Lucky him right?"

"What did you do for those three years?"

"I trained to become an assassin, but even that went badly. I disagreed with the guild master and had to flee."

"How long were you with them?"

"Almost a year. The woman who trained me was kind, but a vicious task master. I miss her sometimes. I owe her much for the skills I have now."

"You were only with the assassins for a year, what of the other two years?"

"I spent that time with the Dalish."

"Wait...what?"

"The reason I ran from Desarah was I stood up to her when she was beating an elf to death. The daggers I carry are a heirloom to the elf's clan. As you said before you can see them for what they are, but most people can't. They have a power that once unlocked can be a great asset or a great folly. At least that is what Sonora the Keeper told me. Desarah wanted them to strengthen her hold on the guild and make her enemies think twice before coming after her. The daggers refused to work for her so she thought beating the elf would make her reveal the way to use them. The blades either find you worthy or not. Since you can see them for what they are I guess that makes you worthy."

"The elf was from a Dalish clan then."

"Yes, Shyria is her name. We call each other sister. Our bond in life is much stronger than I had with my own brother. Don't get me wrong I love my brother, but he was always busy with his family. I was alone most of my childhood."

"Sounds like you and I have more in common than we thought."

"The reason I run away as you put it is that I failed my family. I was a disgrace to them. I made them the laughing stock of Ferelden for years and now that I am trying to do something right in my life they are not here to see it. When the Bann started talking about Highever and the Couslands it just..."

"I'm so sorry Raven."

"It is comforting that I have someone with me who understands. So now you know most of my story."

"Most? There is more?"

"Only a little, but we have things to do that trump me telling you more."

"When this is over will you tell me?" Ashlyn smiled and pulled him closer to her, crushing her lips over his. Once they came up for air she answered him.

"Anything you wish My Prince."

"Ugh, please don't do that...I can't stand think about that now and don't think I am going to forget to ask you after we are done defending the town just because you kissed me."

"No matter what you choose Alistair you will always be a prince to me. Nobility is something we are born with, not just a birthright. You are noble no matter what you think and I have to do much more than kiss you to make you forget to ask me something."

"Hmmm, are you offering?" This was a game they played often to see who would back down first. Normally she won, but Alistair had gotten her a few times in the months they had been traveling together.

"Not right now, but I wouldn't be against it." She took a step closer to him and batted her eyes at him. Alistair blushed and wrung his hands in front of him. "You are so cute when you blush."

"Cute?"

"You heard me Alistair I am not going to repeat myself."

"You are such a tease Raven."

"You enjoy every minute of it."

"Maker help me I do, but one of these days woman I will make you turn scarlet."

"We'll see."


	11. Chapter 11

"Holy Maker what are those things?" Leliana's voice was nearly drowned out by the growls of the undead running at them. Ashlyn had decided to wear heavier armor to protect herself. She also opted to use her father's sword and shield. Seeing the monsters she was glad she had. Alistair stood by her side even though she wished he was safe in the Chantry with the townsfolk who could not fight. Knowing he was Maric's heir made her want to protect him even more.

"Hold your ground! They do not get past us!" She knew her friends were ready for the battle that was coming having just fought like this down in the Deep Roads. It had taken a few months, but they fought well together. Wynne stood back ready to heal, Morrigan was next to her ready to unleash what Ashlyn called magic death. Sten and Ogrhen stood behind Raven and Alistair guarding the groups flanks. Zevran and Leliana both had their bows ready to pick the walking dead off from afar. Jaq was back in the Chantry guarding the people holed up waiting for the nightmare to be over.

Ashlyn raised her hand to signal the archer farther behind them to light the barrels of oil that stood in front of the charging undead. She had to time it just right so that most of them would be caught in the flames. Her hand twitched out of fear and adrenaline, but she held her ground till the last possible moment. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Alistair rocking on his heels waiting to charge. For as awkward as he was around people, he was quite the opposite when it came to fighting. She had never seen a more capable warrior. He might have hated being a Templar, but there was no denying it made him the beast he was on the battlefield.

"Now!" Her hand swung down and the archer took his shot and the barrels exploded just as the creatures reached them. The smell of burnt, rotten flesh filled the air. The burning undead still kept coming even as their flesh turned to ash. Ashlyn ran forward and slammed two with her shield while she slashed at a third. Alistair was right behind her taking out one who tried to rake her exposed back. She could not help the small smile that crept up on her lips as they stood back to back. Wave after wave of the creatures made Ashlyn's arms feel like lead. Using a sword and shield instead of her daggers was something she was not use to doing anymore. Even the armor felt like it weighed her down.

"Maker were are they all coming from?"

"We will find that out later. Just keep swinging." She gave a half hearted swing at her foe and growled when it failed to drop the thing. Alistair pivoted on his heels and decapitated the rotting man. It seems like that was the last of them, for the moment at least.

"I'm not the one who looks like their arm is going to fall off Raven."

"I haven't had to fight like this since I was a child and even that was just sparring. I feel like I am stuck in tree sap in this armor." Alistair smiled at her and shook his head.

"Then why wear it?"

"You saw the bodies of those poor people down on the docks. I don't fancy being ripped apart like that. Besides then you would have to do this all on your own." She gave him a devilish smile which he returned. She heard the clank of armor and saw a man running toward them.

"Their coming from the lake now toward the village! We need your help!" Ashlyn did not stop to t think about it she just ran after the man down the hill. She heard the growls of the creatures get louder the closer she got to the village center. She also heard the terrified screams of the men defending the Chantry and her mind snapped back to her home. The smell of blood and smoke made her freeze. If it had not been for Sten pushing her gently from behind she would have stayed in her stupor. Shaking her head violently she charged into the thick of the crowd. She pretended the undead were Arl Howes' men and her anger fueled her swings. Every hit she landed did large amounts of damage to her foes. She caught out of the corner of her eye some of the undead had gotten passed the fighter and were now ripping the doors off the Chantry.

"Alistair they are going into the Chantry!" She saw him try to cut a path through the creatures, but more and more kept coming from the lake. Ashlyn was the closest and her foes were all but dead around her. She spun on her heels and ran for the building pulling her splintmail cuirass off as she ran. She had kept her leather vest and linen shirt on under the armor just in case she needed to move more freely. She also dropped her sword and shield knowing that the close quarters would make them useless. She pulled her daggers and flew into the main room of the Chantry. The sight in front of her made her blood run cold. She heard the children screaming and trying to run, but found there was no were to go. Bann Teagan was the only thing standing between the helpless and the monsters. She threw one of her daggers and the closest one dropped to the ground dead. She growled the word to have the dagger fly back to her hand before running at the other undead.

"Get the people back as far as you can!" She did not wait to see if Teagan moved before tumbling passed the monsters putting herself between them and the villagers. She readied herself for the push and did not have to wait long. She lashed out with her left dagger at one and stabbed upward with the right. Ashlyn fought like a woman possessed stabbing, slashing, and kicking at her foes. She had already dropped three of her foes, but there was at least that many of them left and she was tiring.

OoO

Alistair felt dread hit him hard the longer it took to fight the undead outside the Chantry. Raven had disappeared through the doors in what seemed like hours ago, but in reality it had only been minutes. The longer it took for her to come back the worse his dread got. Sten and Oghren closed in front of him to cover his back so he could go and help their leader.

"Go and get her, we will hold them off!" Alistair wasted no time and ran for the Chantry. He could hear the sounds of fighting as soon as he entered. Raven was engaged in fighting off three more of the rotting men, but he saw her struggling. His own limbs felt like they weighed a ton, but he saw one of the creatures land a blow to her side. Her scream of pain gave him new strength to fight. He charged the one that hit his fellow Warden, slamming his shield into it's back. The other two attackers turned their attention on him giving Raven an opening to take out one despite the pain she was in. She was bleeding from the claw marks on her back and side. Only one of the undead remained and it growled at them before running right at them. Alistair swung high and Ashlyn aimed low taking out the creatures knees. As soon as the thing dropped to the ground unmoving Ashlyn sank to the floor as well.

"Raven!" She felt her body rise off the ground and warm arms carry her out into the night air. Healing magic soon flooded her body and she let herself fall away into darkness. "Wynne?"

"She's exhausted Alistair and she lost a lot of blood. She'll be fine, just let her sleep. I have to go see who else needs healing." Alistair's strength was all but gone and he flopped down next to Raven's sleeping form. His back rested against the side of the Chantry and he sighed. His eyes slid closed and he tried to ignore the smell of death mixing with the smell of fish in the air. He jumped when he felt a light touch on his leg. His eyes snapped open and he saw Raven staring up at him.

"Did we win?"

"I think so. You should be resting." He helped her sit up and let her rest her self against his chest.

"So should you."

"I was till you woke me up. Murdock said everyone survived."

"The first good news I have heard all night."

"Sleep."

"As you wish my..." His finger silenced her and she looked up into his eyes.

"Don't you dare." If it had not been for the smile on his lips she would have thought Alistair was upset with her. "I let you get away with it the last time. I will not be ascending to the throne in this life time."

"Alistair...I'm sorry."

"It's fine. I just am not cut out to be a leader Raven."

"I'm too tired to argue with you right now."

"Thank the Maker for small miracles."

"Your in trouble after I get some sleep."

"My lady I was in trouble the very day I met you, but I was also very blessed."

"Alistair that was the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me."

"Good now sleep." Ashlyn settled herself back against him and let sleep take hold of her. The last thing she remembered feeling was his arms wrapping around her.

OoO

The sound of a rooster crowing woke both of the Wardens from their slumber. Ashlyn stretched and yawned. Her body felt refreshed even though she knew she had not slept long. She realized she had not had the normal nightmares. She turned her head and saw Alistair watching her with a amused look on his face.

"Sleep well?"

"I should sleep in your arms more often. It was the best night of sleep I've had in ages."

"That can be arranged my lady." She giggled as his lips sought out hers. Neither of them noticed all the eyes watching them, nor would they have cared if they did. Teagan pulled Wynne aside from the others to talked to her about the masked Warden.

"Who is she?"

"We just know her as Raven my lord."

"She said she was a survivor of the massacre at Highever, but she is too skilled to be just a commoner. Also the mask she wears, is she hiding a scar?"

"I am not sure. None of us have ever seen her face. Alistair might have since he has been with her the longest."

"How did they meet?"

"They met at Ostagar. Why?"

"No reason, just curious about the woman who saved us." Wynne nodded, but narrowed her eyes suspiciously. She knew there was more to the Bann's questions, but she knew he would not elaborate on them. "I need to go talk to Murdock. Please gather your companions and bring them to the Chantry. I want to thank everyone for what they have done." Wynne left his side and went to gather up the rest of her group. The last two she rounded up were the Wardens who were still wrapped in each others arms. She smiled at the display of young love. It warmed her heart to see both of them happy and smiling at least for a little while. Being a Circle mage she knew all too well everything could be taken away so easily. She hoped neither of them would ever have to make the choice between love and duty. Somewhere deep down she could feel if either of them lost the other, it would be the end one left behind.


	12. Chapter 12

Ashlyn really did not like the woman that was standing in front of her. Lady Isolde was stuck up and boorish at the best of times. Now she was staring at Alistair with a look of disdain and it made the young Cousland want to rip the Arlessa apart. She barley heard the words coming out of the distraught woman's mouth. All she could see was the hurt on the face of the man she was starting to love with all her heart. It took a well placed poke from Zevran to shake her from her stupor.

"Please Isolde calm down and tell us what happened." Bann Teagan looked beside himself as the Arlessa told him about what had been happening. The part that piqued Ashlyn's interest was the fact Isolde had hired an apostate to tutor her son.

"Why would you need a mage to teach your son My Lady?"

"I...he..."

"He is showing signs he is a mage, isn't he?"

"I will not let the Templars take my son. I thought if he was taught to hide his magic then he would be safe."

"This mage who is he?"

"Some runaway from the Circle. He...poisoned my husband."

"What?"

"He is the one who tried to kill Eamon. Then to cover it up he caused the trouble here."

"Did the Arl know Conner is a mage?"

"No, he would do the right thing and send my son away. I could not bare for anyone to find out." Anger rose in the rogue at the woman's blatant disregard for the people who were now dead. She would not let this go without putting her to copper in.

"But this mage...you said he was the one who poisoned the Arl and called forth the nightmare that now plagues your people. How many innocent people have died to feed your vanity?"

"How dare you..."

"How dare I? I am not the one who thought it was a good idea to have some demon addled mage teach a child how to control powers that he does not understand. I am not a fan of the Cirlce, but Maker it would have been better than this. With your husband sick the safety of the people here falls to you. Your fear of the bloody nobles finding out your son was a mage did this to your people." Alistair grabbed her shoulder pulling her back from the Arlessa.

"I should expect such uncouthness from a commoner."

"I might be a commoner, but I am also a Grey Warden. Alistair and I are the only people left standing between your noble arse and the darkspawn. If I were you I would not piss me off right now. We need to get in to the castle and get your family and anyone else alive out of there. We need the Arl's help and if he...then we will have to come up with something else. Now take us up there."

"I can't."

"Why?"

"The...the evil in the castle said I could come and bring Teagan back with me no one else."

"Well the evil will have to be disappointed then because the Bann is not going in there alone." The Arlessa saw there was no compromise in the Warden's face so she switched tactics and batted her eyes at Teagan.

"If anyone other than you comes with me it will hurt Conner. Please Teagan your his uncle. You can't let him be hurt."

"I will come with you Isolde, but please give me a minute alone with the Warden."

"Hurry, it is not patient." He nodded and waited til the woman was far enough away not to hear him.

"Alistair you remember the old way you use to sneak out of the castle?"

"I thought the Arl had it boarded up."

"No he just told you that to stop you from going down there. Take this it will open the way. No matter what get Eamon out of there. The rest of us...we do not matter." Ashlyn stepped forward and shook her head.

'We will get everyone out of there we can My Lord. I will not let this place become another Highever."

"The Maker smiled on us the day you came here Warden. Good luck." Alistair stood by her side silently holding the ring that was the key to the secret way into the castle. Ashlyn did not want to take her entire group with her. She had to choose three others to come with them. She knew Alistair was one of them, just for the simple fact that he would insist.

"Alistair, Wynne, Zevran and I are going in. I want the rest of you watch over the village just in case. Leliana I am leaving you in charge."

"I'll make sure no one kills anyone Raven."

"Good, we ready?" Alistair nodded and headed to the windmill. Wynne and Zevran hung back giving the two a moment to talk. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, just worried. If it is a demon at work..."

"That is why I brought both you and Wynne. I am not taking any chances."

"Guess my Templar skills will come in handy then."

"I would say so." Ashlyn bit her lip wanting to say more about the way Isolde had treated him, but she did not want to start a fight. "I'm sor..."

"No your not. She deserved every word of what you said Raven. Those were words I wish I could have said, but her station...I will never be anything other than a dirt poor orphan, kept here out of loyalty to a King who could not keep it in his pants."

"You are more than that. You are a Warden, a good man. Do not let anyone tell you differently. I speak my mind because life is way to short to let people walk all over you. Don't worry I will teach you how it is done." She gave him a sweet smirk and he laughed. "That's better. Now let's go beat the shit out of a demon."

"After you my lady." Ashlyn waved for the other two to follow. "I use to sit in here when I was younger. It was an easy place to hide from the cook or Isolde."

"You don't have to hide anymore."

"One day I hope you will say the same and let everyone see the beautiful face you have let me see."

"I hope so."

OoO

"So your the mage who started all this, wonderful." A low growl came from behind Ashlyn and she could feel Alistair tense behind her. "Mine telling me how you did it so we can fix it." The mage who said his name was Jowan looked like someone had used him as a practice dummy. The man could not even look Ashlyn in the eyes as he spoke.

"I had nothing to do with the undead in the castle. I was locked up here when the trouble started." Jowan's hands were bound and even Ashlyn knew mages can't cast without their hands unless they were very powerful.

"Wynne, do you know of him?"

"Yes, he has not taken his Harrowing, he is only an apprentice. He...was to be made Tranquil, but escaped before it happened."

"Alright so you said you did not cause the undead, but what of the Arl? Did you poison him like the Arlessa said?"

"Yes. I was caught by Loghain's men and he...he said if I did this he would make sure I did not have to go back to the Circle."

"So Loghain put you up to this?"

"Yes my lady, he said the Arl had betrayed the kingdom and he needed to be taken care of. I...I was a fool. Loghain tricked me and now I am as good as dead. If the Arlessa does not have me killed the Templars will end me, one way or another."

"What of Conner? Is he really a mage?"

"Yes, I was trying to train him, but the Arlessa did not understand. Magic can not be thrown to the side and hidden like she wanted him to do. She wanted him to be normal. She did not get it that he would never be like other children again."

"He might have caused this then?"

"Raven, Conner is only a child he could not have called a demon here."

"If he is untrained can't a demon take him over? We saw it in the tower Alistair. That damned sloth demon ensnared us and only one of us was a mage." Jowan lifted his head and met Raven's gaze.

"I tried to help him protect himself in the Fade, but I think with the fear of someone taking him away and what I did to his father...he might have torn the Veil without knowing it."

"That would make him an easier target for a demon Raven. I know you are not a fan of the Circle, but it does serve a purpose in teaching young mages to resist demons."

"I have no problem with them teaching Wynne. What I have a problem with is they cut mages off from everything and everyone. It is not right."

"So you think mages like him should run free? Mages like Morrigan and Flemeth should be allowed to use blood magic and control people?"

"I never said that, but there has to be another way."

"There is no other way."

"Is that Alistair talking or the Templar?" The glare he gave her made her want to curl into a ball and disappear.

"You have never seen what happens to a mage when they can't resist, you haven't had to put them down because there is no way to save them! Don't you dare patronize me about being a Templar. You know how much I hated it, how could you say that to me?"

"Alistair I..." He turned his back to her and did not let her explain or apologize. She cursed herself for being foolish and questioning him. She knew he hated being given to the Chantry. "We need to move on. I think you will stay here for now Jowan. You will be safer in there then you would be free." The mage nodded and Ashlyn marched toward the door leading into the castle. "Stay here for now all of you I will scout ahead."

"Are you sure my dear Warden? There could be more of those things ahead."

"I am sure. I want to know what we are dealing with first before we rush in. Don't worry I will be fine." She took one last glance back at Alistair and saw his back was still turned to her. His shoulders were tense and his fists were balled tight. Ashlyn sighed and slipped through the door. The room she found was deathly quiet. She saw bodies littering the floor, but they looked like they had been dead for days. The smell made her gag and a cold shiver ran down her back. Was this what her home looked like now? Did Arl Howe at least give her parents' bodies respect in death? She doubted it highly. Anger burned in her thinking about Highever and the traitor that took her life from her. A slow buzzing sound started at the corner of her mind and she knew it was Alistair heading her way. She kept her back turned to him not wanting to fight with him again. "I said to stay put till I got back."

"I didn't like the idea of you being alone." His voice was soft, but she could still hear a bit of anger behind it. "Poor bastards." He looked down at the dead and winced. It reminded him of the Wilds and Ostagar.

"These people deserved better than this." He had moved to her side and saw the faraway look in her eyes. Knowing full well she was thinking about her home Alistair wrapped an arm around her.

"Raven..."

"I pushed it Alistair, you have nothing to be sorry for. I am the one who should be apologizing. This place for good or ill was your home and I know seeing it like this hurts."

"It does, but I can only imagine how you are feeling."

"I am trying not to think about it."

"Well then lets find something to fight to take your mind off it." Ashlyn snickered and leaned into his shoulder more.

"Sounds good to me."

"I'll go back and get the others." Ashlyn nodded and made her way to the entrance that led up into the castle. Once she past a certain point she heard an unearthly growl behind her. The dead bodies began to rise from the floor."

"Shit I should have know this was going to happen." Ashlyn tried to made a dash for the door Alistair had disappeared through just a moment before, but one of the creatures got it's hand on her ankle, tripping her to the ground. She clawed and kicked to get away, but the monster did not break it's grip on her. Ashlyn let out a howl of rage seeing other undead surround her. "_I will not die like this! Not by these bastards..."_ Her hands found her daggers and she lashed out at the one holding her leg. A loud bang caught her attention as her friends rushed into the room. Alistair stormed forward knocking the undead away so he could get to her. Zevran and Wynne took them out quickly in his wake.

"Get your filthy hands off her!" Alistair swung his sword with such force the creature's body broke apart showering Ashlyn in chunks of rotten flesh. Once free of her capture she jumped to her feet and shook off the gore. "You alright?"

"Other than being showered in rot, I am just fine now." She gave him a grateful smile while Wynne checked her over. "So now we know till we stop what ever turned these people into those thing, don't trust anything to be truly dead."

"Maker what a mess."

"We should proceed with caution. Who knows how many of those creatures are left in the castle."

"Wynne's right. We take this slow and no matter what we stay together."

"Then lead the way Warden. I have a very large desire to bathe. I smell like I have rolled in..."

"I get it, no need to go any further Zev. We all need a bath and new clothes. First things first, we find out what is causing this and stop it."

OoO

It took what seemed like hours to fight there way through the castle. It was also disheartening to find that only one person was left alive in the one part of the castle they had just been fighting through. It was pure luck even finding her. If Zevran had not been trying to loot every room Ashlyn would never had looked there until after the entire castle had been cleared. That would have taken day the poor scared maidservant did not have left.

"Are you strong enough to get yourself out of here?"

"I think so, but those things..."

"We've killed all the ones between here and the escape tunnel. You have a clear run right to it. Just don't let the man out of the cell no matter what he says to you alright?"

"Alright. I don't know how to thank you for this..."

"Just go home to your father and stay there til this is all over."

"Thank you again my lady." With that the girl ran as fast as she could down the hall. Ashlyn watched her go, envying her for having a father to go home to.

"I guess Morrigan lost the bet." Ashlyn raised and eyebrow at her elven friend in question. "She bet that you would not be able to find the blacksmith's daughter alive and I bet you would."

"How much was the bet?"

"One sovereign, but it is worth it no?"

"Well I am glad you at least have faith in me."

"You my dear Warden have made me believe anything could be possible. You brought us out of the Deep Roads alive, found Sten's sword and now you fight to free a Arling. You are a wonder my dear lady." Zevran took her hand and kissed it smoothly. She sighed and shook her head after hearing a growl from behind them. Ashlyn turned her head to see Alistair glaring at the elf, who now seemed quite proud of himself.

"As wonderful as you think I am the answer is still no Zev."

"You can not blame me for trying." She laughed and pushed his shoulder to turn him around.

"Get going." Alistair stepped next to her and tried to hide his emotions, but they played heavily on his face. "You have nothing to worry about you know?"

"Don't I? That man is like a cat in heat. He is always throwing himself at you."

"And I keep telling him no. The answer will always be no for him. He is an assassin, as am I. I know better than to get involved with my own kind."

"What about me, is the answer no for me as well?"

"You know better than that...I would never have kissed you if I...if I didn't want to. I like you Alistair don't ever doubt that." She could not help the smile that lit up her face seeing him grin like the cat that ate the canary.

"Just checking."

"Hmmm, start moving lover boy we have an Arl to save."

"Lover boy?"

"Alistair move your arse."

"Alright, alright." The group only had the courtyard to contend with to get to the main part of the castle. Ashlyn slowly crept out into the shadows against the wall and saw there were more undead ambling around the yard. She narrowed her eyes as she scanned the grounds. She brought her hand up and gave Alistair and the others a signal to move. Wynne raised her hands to the sky and brought a fire storm down on top of undead.

"Zev take out the one on the right."

"On it!" It was then she caught sight of the revenant charging the elf. She scrambled to his side and blocked the greatsword just before it connected with the assassin. The force of the hit knocked her to her knees, but she did not let the thing get the upper hand. Her leg arched out and tripped the thing to it's back.

"Wynne get that gate open!" In a moment she heard the portcullis raise and the clank of armored bodies rushing in the courtyard. The knights made short work of the rest of the creatures. "Thank you Ser Perth."

"You are very welcome Warden. We will accompany you in the castle as well. I need to know..."

"I understand."

"Hopefully Bann Teagan has everything under control in there."

"One can only hope."


	13. Chapter 13

What greeted the Wardens and their companions when they entered the throne room in Redcliffe was not anything Ashlyn had ever prepared for. Seeing Conner like that hurt. She remembered seeing him as a baby and over the years watching him grow up when her family came to visit Arl Eamon. He was a few years older than her nephew had been before his young life had been cut short. The few times she had talked to him she found him to be a quiet, thoughtful young man. He was not the typical noble brat she was use to. It was refreshing to see after all the years she had to deal with over privileged snot nosed brats. Ashlyn shifted her eyes to the side to see Alistair's reaction and it was the same as hers. His face had lost all color and his hands were clenched into tight fists. Being an almost Templar he had seen possessions before, but she knew that this one hurt the most for him. Even what they saw in Kinloch Hold did not compare to this. Ashlyn decided to walk boldly up to the raised steps to the back of the throne room. She kept her hand on her dagger just in case, but prayed she would not need it. Killing a child was not something she would ever want on her conscience.

"Who are these people mother?" Isolde looked defeated standing next to her son. Her shoulders were slumped and her back hunched over. Ashlyn would have felt sorry for her if she wasn't such a bitch.

"They are Wardens Connor, remember the stories your father use to tell you when you were little."

"Why are they here?" Ashlyn's eyes met Isolde's and she shook her head lightly. She did not want this turning into a bloodbath if she could help it. Seeing Bann Teagan blathering like a loon made Ashlyn cringe inside. The demon possessed child stared at her waiting for an answer. Ashlyn shifted her shoulders back and lifted her chin.

"I am here to help." Connor narrowed his eyes and waited for her to continue, but she left the statement hanging in the air.

"Here to help whom?"

"Here to help the people you have tormented." Connor threw his head back and laughed.

"But I was only trying to have a little fun. I loved watching them scream as they ran trying desperately to get away. You mortals are such fragile creatures, so weak in mind and spirit." Ashlyn pulled her daggers and set her body to strike. She heard Alistair take a sharp breath, but she did not take her eyes off of Connor.

"You will find I am neither fragile or weak in will and spirit. I have faced worse abominations than you." Connor quirked his head to the side and stared into her eyes finding no hesitation. She would kill him if she had to. He turned his head to the enthralled guards and yelled.

"Kill them!" Ashlyn let him run passed her as she focused on Teagan.

"Don't kill them if you can!" Zevran let out a dramatic sigh and sheathed his blades. He used his agility and knowledge of pressure points to take out his group of guards. Ashlyn turned her attention fully to the Bann. They began a deadly dance. Ashlyn had sparred against the older man before, but it had been years ago and she had her ass handed to her that time. Teagan was a capable warrior by all rights, but Ashlyn had learned a lot in the years since then. Even with the heavier armor on Ashlyn was faster than Teagan. She tumbled behind him kicking out her leg as she went to knock him off his feet. She only succeeded in making him angry. His sword came down next to her and she rolled o the side to avoid it. She heard Alistair yell for her, but she kept her eyes on the Bann. Using her father's sword she blocked the downward swing of his sword and pushed him back so she could get to her feet. She felt someone grab her by the collar of her armor and put themselves between her and the charging Teagan. The large clang hurt her ears as she gained her footing back.

"Can't stay out of trouble can you?" Ashlyn saw the back of the man she was beginning to love.

"You know me I attract trouble. I could have handled it Alistair." Teagan growled and took another swing at Alistair. The younger man blocked the hit with his shield. "Duck!"

What?" Ashlyn growled and pushed down on Alistair's shoulders. She used him as a spring board to hit Teagan with a flying kick. It was not as strong as she would have liked, but with the armor she was to heavy to get off the ground like she would in her leathers. It was strong enough to make Teagan fall back and hit his head on the stone floor, knocking him out. "Did you have to use me to do that?"

"A good rogue uses what ever is in her surroundings to win. You just happened to be in my way." Ashlyn smiled warmly at her fellow Warden and the scowl on his face melted away.

"Your will be the death of me Raven."

"But think of what a fun death it will be." He gave a chuckle and shook his head.

"Maker's breath." Ashlyn saw Isolde get to her feet from the corner she had hid in. The woman looked broken. "Warden I...my poor Connor. Please...it's not his fault...you can't kill him." Isolde threw herself at Ashlyn's feet and began to sob. For one of the first times in her life the Arlessa was not thinking of her pride or what was thought of her. She was a mother begging for her son's life. Ashlyn held out her hand to the older woman and pulled her to her feet.

"I have no intentions of hurting a child. Wynne is there any way of helping him?" The sad look on Wynne's face did not make Ashlyn hopeful.

"Other than death or the Rite of Tranquility...I don't think..." A voice from behind them stopped Wynne's train of thought. It was the mage who had been locked in the dungeon.

"There is a way, but I hesitate to even suggest it." Isolde's face hardened as she stalked over to the very battered mage.

"This is all your fault! How did you get out of the cell I left you to rot in?"

"The undead beat on it enough to knock it almost off it's hinges. I could have run away and no one would be the wiser till I was long gone, but I want to help."

"Help? I will see you hanged for what you have done you monster." Ashlyn stepped between the mage and the Arlessa.

"Enough! Please Lady Isolde if he has a way to save Connor at least let's hear him out." The older woman slumped her shoulders and nodded sadly. "Wynne can you wake Bann Teagan. I want him awake to hear this."

"Of course Raven." The room lit with healing magic for a few seconds. Ashlyn heard Teagan groan and knew he was alright.

"Are you alright Bann Teagan?"

"Yes, thank you." Teagan looked over Ashlyn's shoulder and glared. "What is he doing free?"

"Doesn't matter right now, what does matter is saving Connor and the people of Redcliffe. Now, I'm sorry I don't remember if I was told your name."

"Jowan my lady, the way Connor can be saved is if a mage goes into the Fade and defeats the demon."

"Okay, that can be done. I have two mages among my companions."

"The problem lays in how to get them into the Fade. You would need a lot of lyrium. I doubt you have that on hand since the Chantry has a strangle hold on it's trade and use." Ashlyn knew there was always a catch to things. Nothing was ever easy. She met the mage's eyes and she saw sorrow and pain.

"Alright so how can we send a mage to the Fade then?"

"Warden..."

"Spit it out already. The longer we sit here and debate this the longer that demon can harm people."

"I could do a blood ritual to replace the need for lyrium, but...the amount of blood needed, it would kill whomever I take it from." Wynne sighed and shook her head. Alistair shook his head more violently and growled at this suggestion.

"No Raven, I will not let this blood mage sacrifice a life like that. There has to be another way!"

"Then let it be my blood." Everyone turned and stared in disbelief of the Arlessa's words. Ashlyn found a new respect for the older woman even though she thought she was insane.

"Isolde no! You can't Eamon..."

"Eamon is not here to stop me Teagan. He is my son and this is my fault. The Warden was right I let my own pride get in the way of what was best for my son and my people. If anyone has to make the sacrifice it will be me."

"Raven stop her. We can't go along with this. I..."

"Jowan is there no other way?"

"The only place you could find the amount of lyrium you would need is the Circle. It would take two days round trip to get them here and there is no way of knowing if the Templars would even allow it. They would rather kill Connor than save him."

"I won't let them do that. Besides Greagoir owes us for saving what was left of the Circle from Uldred."

"But can we afford to wait the two days for them to get here? What if the demon tries to raise more dead?"

"I will send a letter with a small group of my companions and the rest of us will stay here and keep watch. I will not sacrifice your life Lady Isolde or your son's. Maker willing Arl Eamon will wake to find his family alive and well. Ser Perth can I ask of you a favor?"

"Yes Warden?"

"Please bring the rest of my friends here to the castle. I need to fill them in on all this. Lady Isolde I will need parchment and ink to compose a letter to Ser Greagoir of the Templars."

"There is some in Eamon's study. I will show you the way."

"Thank you My Lady. Alistair keep watch and let the others know what is going on till I get back." Ashyln followed Isolde to the end of the far hallway. The study reminded her much of her father's study back in Highever. She felt the sting of tears in her eyes and she blinked them away. She could not let herself be distracted, too much was at stake. Isolde motioned to her to go to the to the desk and help herself.

"I will leave you to it Warden. The paper should be in the desk drawers and the ink is on the desk. I have to give orders to my knights."

"Thank you, I will be a quick as I can." Ashlyn waited for the door to close before looking for the paper. Her body ached and she let out a grateful sigh when stripped out of her armor. Quickly she took her leathers out of her pack and put them on. Her linen shirt was soaked with sweat and blood so she opted on leaving it off under her vest till she could find a new shirt. Tiredly she sat down in the Arl's chair and began searching the drawers. The top drawer had parchment with the Arl's crest on it, but her curiosity got the better of her. The middle drawer had a bunch of odds and ends, but a small pendent on a chain caught her eye. She picked it up and examined it closer. It had the symbol of Andraste on it, but the amulet looked like it had seen better days. It looked to be pieced back together painstakingly so. Something in her memory sparked and she gasped. "This was Alistair's. Maker, the Arl kept it all these years. I think it is time you go back to your owner." She placed the small amulet in her pocket for safe keeping and scribed her letter before returning to the throne room in the castle. She had decided to send Leliana, Zevran and Wynne to the Circle while the rest of them stayed to keep watch over Redcliffe. Once the three were off all they could do was wait and pray.

OoO

Night had fallen and for once it was peaceful. The group took turns resting and watching. The only one who had not slept was Ashlyn. She was afraid to close her eyes for fear of the nightmares she had been having of late. She had become use to hearing the darkspawn in her sleep, that did not bother her anymore. It was the nightmares about her last night in Highever that haunted her still that kept her from sleep. Being here in Redcliffe and with all that had happened it hit her to close to home. She paced the hall with her friend watching her, but no one dared say anything. The last one who did she bit their head off and told them she was fine. Her body screamed for rest, but her mind would not let her has a moment's peace.

"Raven?" She spun on her heels and saw the concerned face of her fellow Warden. She was to wake him over two hours ago, but he had looked so peaceful she did not have the heart.

"You should still be sleeping." He shook his head and walked up to her. His hand reached out and took hers squeezing it lightly.

"I could say the same thing to you. You haven't slept at all have you?"

"No, but I'm fine. I will sleep when this is all over."

"When what is all over the demon possession or the Blight?"

"What is happening here." He pulled her closer and wrapped his arms around her placing his chin on top of her head. Ashlyn nuzzled his neck and relaxed into his embrace.

"You need to sleep."

"I can't." He pushed her shoulders back gently so he could look her in the eye.

"Why?"

"All this reminds me too much of Highever. Connor is only a few years older than Oren, my nephew..."

"So the nightmares you have been having aren't darkspawn related."

"No, every time I close my eyes I see my parents, my nephew, his mother and all the other people in the castle. I knew them all, all their names, their families. My entire life is gone."

"So's mine. My mother is dead, my father, well we know why he didn't raise me. Duncan and the Wardens were the only people I called family really. There was Eamon for a few years, but after I was sent away that even ended."

"What a pair we make huh?"

"There is no one I would rather be fighting beside. Now off to bed with you. Your dead on your feet."

"I don't want to close my eyes." Alistair sighed and picked her up in his arms. "What in the Void are you doing?"

"Make sure you sleep even if I have to drag you to do it." She glared at him and he just smirked. "Would it make you feel better if I stay with you while you sleep?" A blush crept up her neck to her cheeks. Even under her mask he could tell her face was a pleasant shade of crimson.

"Alistair..."

"I didn't mean that Raven."

"Can't blame a girl for thinking it."

"I guess not, but now is not the time or the place."

"Ah, so there is hope one day for me to steal your virtue, good to know." He lay her down on one of the beds in the servant quarter. It was then she noticed he was not wearing his normal armor. He had on just a linen shirt and doe skin pants. She let her eyes wander down his body and she shivered. Even without the bulky armor his frame was much larger than hers. Ashlyn had always been small framed even for a fighter. Her thin limbs made the switch to rogue much easier.

"Are you cold?"

"Not really, just had a chill." He nodded and laid himself down next to her on the bed. He propped himself up against the wall and let her snuggle in closer to him. The last thing she remembered before sleep took her was his arm wrapping around her and him whispering.

"Sweet dreams Raven."

OoO

Leliana and the others returned two mornings later with a small group of mages. First Enchanter Irving was also with them as well as a hand full of Templars. Two of the mages Ashlyn remembered from the tower. One an elven girl not much younger than herself. The other a blonde mage with warm amber eyes and a lazy smile. He had tried flirting with her while she over saw the final sweep of the tower. He was a healer if she remembered correctly and from what Wynne had told her he was the best she had ever seen.

"Irving thank you for coming so quickly."

"Wynne filled me in on everything. You were right to come to us and not take Jowan's offer."

"I do not promote blood magic. It is not worth the price." The old mage nodded and waved Ashlyn over to the other two mages who were quietly talking off in a corner.

"Orianne has volunteered to go into the Fade. She passed her Harrowing faster than any other mage save Anders." The blonde mage winked and Ashlyn chuckled.

"There is not a modest bone in your body, is there Anders?"

"Not a one my lady. I am just here to heal if needed."

"Is there anything we need to do?"

"Just pray Ori can free the boy. We will begin shortly." Isolde had her guards bring Jowan back up from the dungeon and Ashlyn saw the reaction from the two younger mages with Irving. Ori had a very sad look on her face, but Anders looked livid.

"Bloody coward!" Jowan squared his shoulders and glared back at Anders.

"At least I had the guts to take out the Templars. You just complain about how trapped you are, how unfair it is."

"You almost killed Ori with that stunt. Don't you care?" This news seemed to shock the dark haired mage. Ori placed her hand on Anders' shoulder to stop him from lunging at Jowan.

"Anders it's over let it go. He will pay for his sins later. We are here to help Connor."

"Your right."

"Ori...I'm sorry. I didn't...I never meant for you to be hurt." Ori just nodded and turned her head away. The larger Templar ushered her away and spoke quietly to her. The elf wiped away tears and leaned into the Templar. Ashlyn quirked her eyebrow and sought an answer from Anders. He leaned over and whispered in her ear.

"They're friends I guess. He is always around her. I think he is sweet on her, but if you ask me it is not right."

"Not a fan of the Templars I see."

"They're a bloody menace."

"It is time Warden." Ashyln nodded and headed to the room they were going to preform the ritual to send Ori into the Fade. Ashlyn took her place between Alistair and Anders. She marveled at the way the mages weaved their spells. Ori stood in the middle of the circle they created around her. Her eyes shut and her hand on a pedestal filled with liquid lyrium. The very tall Templar shifted nervously. Ashlyn could see his eyes from where she was standing and it was more a look of concern than a look of fear. Jowan stared at the floor, his shoulders slumped and he was silently muttering to himself. Ori's body pitched forward, but she stayed standing. Anders blew out a sigh and nodded.

"She's in the Fade."

"Then we better pray to the Maker she can do this. I don't want to lose both her and Connor to this demon."

"Ori is a strong mage, she'll be just fine." Ashlyn gave a curt nod and continued to watch the still form of the elf. All hopes rode on her now.

OoO

Ori woke in the Fade. She could hear a man and a child's voice echoing through the fog. She saw ghostly figures moving through the landscape, wandering aimlessly. Taking out her staff she continued up the hill. A man stood there looking very confused as she approached. Having lived her entire in the tower one human looked like another to her. Only his fancy clothes gave her some idea he might be Arl Eamon.

"Who are you?"

"My name is Orianne Surana. I am a mage of the Circle. I have come here to help your son."

"Connor? I can hear him calling me, but the fog...I cannot find him."

"I will find him My Lord. The demon that holds him will die by my hands."

"Demon?"

"Your son...he is a mage My Lord." The Arl's face turned sad and he nodded. "I am sorry."

"Save him please."

"I will."

OoO

"She has been in there too long." Wynne put her hand on Anders' shoulder trying to be a comfort. It had been over an hour and still Ori had not come back from the Fade. The tall Templar was getting very jumpy, his eyes never leaving the elf's face. Ashlyn gave a side glance at Alistair seeing he was just as concerned. Lady Isolde wrung her hands over and over again, with Teagan right by her side trying to comfort her. The one of the other Templar drew his sword and stepped forward.

"We have waited long enough. I will end this before she is taken over." Ashlyn turned her head quickly, a look of utter shock crossed her features. She stepped forward and blocked the Templar.

"Wait what? You can't just kill her."

"Move Warden or you will join her." Alistair and the tall Templar moved to block the knight as well.

"You will give her more time or I will report you to the Knight Commander. We wait til I tell you otherwise, now stand down or I will put you on your arse."

"I outrank you." The larger Templar took off his helm and stared down the smaller man.

"I don't care if you outrank me. I survived an ogre attack, so taking you down will be nothing." The other Templar winced seeing the long scar down the younger man's cheek. "Now go back to your little corner or so help me." A shriek came from behind them and they all turned around to see Ori start convulsing. The shorter Templar rushed forward only to be struck in the head by the scarred one from behind. His body fell to the floor and was kicked to the side so he was out of the way. "Maker what is happening to her?"

"The demon...she's losing to the demon. Maker please this can't be happening."

"We have to do something." Alistair shook his head and drew his sword. Ashlyn grasped his arm and pulled him back. "You can't just kill her."

"Raven she is being taken over I...it will be a mercy to her to end it now." The scarred Templar growled and pushed Alistair back.

"I won't let you kill her!"

"Your a Templar you know full well what will happen to her now let me through." A flash of fabric ran past the arguing men and drew a blade. Jowan had taken a dagger off the fallen Templar and sliced into his wrists. He turned to Alistair before stepping into the lyruim circle.

"I will draw the demon to me. When it takes me over end it." Anders ran forward to stop his one time friend, but Ashlyn held him back.

"Jowan stop!"

"I owe her this Anders. I rather die this way than be made Tranquil. Tell her I'm sorry." With that Jowan ran it to circle and let his blood magic call to the demon. Ori's body slipped to the floor as the demon let her go. Jowan's body shake as the demon began taking him over. His pitiful screams filled the room and Ashlyn turned her head not wanting to watch Alistair dispatch the mage. Anders turned her away from the sight and hide his own eyes. He had been furious when he had heard what Jowan had done. Blood magic was not worth the price the mage had to pay to use it. Jowan's stunt had nearly cost Ori her life as well as Irving and a hand full of Templars. Even the Templars did not deserve to have blood magic used against them. Alistair rushed forward putting himself between Jowan and Ori and muttered a prayer.

"Maker forgive me." With one quick movement his sword pierced Jowan's heart and the mage fell in a heap on the floor. The scream of the demon as she died rang out then all was silent. The scarred Templar slide to Ori's side and gently shook her. Irving and the other mages looked on sadly as Alistair closed Jowan's eyes and Leliana gave a small prayer over his body. Ashlyn was still holding on to Anders, her head buried in his chest as she fought back tears. Even after all Jowan had done she thought his death was a waste.

"Mother?" All eyes turned to see Connor standing in the door way looking very confused. Isolde let out a squeal of delight and ran to embrace her son. "Who are all these people?"

"They are friends Connor. They came here to help us." The boy nodded and continued to stare at the strange group of people gathered in the throne room of his home. Most had moved to block his view of Jowan's body. Once Connor was whisked away to be looked over by Wynne and Irving, Sten and Alistair moved the body. Anders tended to Ori once she woke. Ashlyn slipped away from the group to try and collect herself. No one noticed she was gone til hours later.

OoO

Alistair met with Lady Isolde and Bann Teagan after everything had settled in the Castle. Connor was now resting comfortably being watched over by Wynne and Ori. The other mages that had come had retired for the night so they could leave in the morning. Ori and the larger Templar were to stay and watch over Connor till the war was over. It gave Alistair a little peace to know Connor would at least have a Harrowed mage teaching and watching over him as well as a trained Templar.

"We need to get word to the other Banns and Arls, Loghain's treachery can not go unanswered." Teagan looked like he had aged ten years in the matter of this one day. When he answered Isolde he sounded exhausted.

"I have talked to many of them after Loghain had us called to Denerim. There are many that want him to answer for his betrayal, but they are afraid. With no real leader to guide them they are just trying to save their own skins."

"What of Bryce Cousland?"

"Isolde...he's dead. Howe attacked Highever when their army left to fight the darkspawn. He slaughtered everyone and claimed it was because Bryce had betrayed Cailan."

"He would never...all of the Couslands are gone? Even young Oren?" The Bann nodded grimly. Lady Isolde sank into her chair and covered her mouth. "I thought maybe...even if she had lived we would have a chance." Alistair cocked up one eyebrow in question at the older woman.

"She who?" Teagan sighed and motioned for Alistair to sit.

"Ashlyn Cousland, Bryce's youngest. She I am sorry to say was the gossip for many years among the nobles."

"Why?" Isolde stepped in to explain while Teagan turned and stared into the fireplace.

"She was to marry Cailan, but she disappeared for three years. Her parents were devastated thinking she had been kidnapped. The whole country searched for over a year to find her. Even going so far as to searching in other countries. She was not found. Cailan married Anora and in time Ashlyn was somewhat forgotten. Rumors began to be spread that she left because of...the reasons were scandalous, but some began to believe. Eamon, Teagan and myself never believed any of them, but many did. When she returned but would not tell anyone, even her family where she had been, the rumors started anew."

"Bryce was able to stave off most of the rumors, but her reputation was stained. She was named over Anora for a reason. Loghain was never truly trusted by most of the nobles. He was a commoner turned noble. His methods during the war with Orlais left many uneasy. He was a sharp man, very terse and sometimes down right uncaring towards others. Maric and Rowan called him friend, but he was a hard man to talk to. Bryce and his family had been nobles since before the first Therin ever took the throne of Ferelden. He was well loved, respected, and had ties all over Thedas." Something clicked in Alistair's mind, but he was still trying to work it out. The story was very similar to his fellow Warden's.

"What was she like?"

"A fighter. Even at a young age the girl was a force with a sword in her hands. Bryce trained her with a sword and shield much to her mother's dislike." Isolde gave a small laugh and shook her head.

"Teagan, you know full well Eleanor was a battle maiden. She just wanted Ashlyn to be a bit more proper."

"We all know that would never happen. She rather be in her armor or covered in mud than wear a dress."

"She was such a lovely girl. Dark red hair and the darkest blue eyes I have ever seen. Many women would have killed to have looks like her." The final piece clicked and Alistair knew. Raven had to be Ashlyn Cousland. In his head so many questions came up, most of all why had she not told at least him who she was. Did she not trust him? He had stopped listening to the two nobles as his head swam with questions. After a few minutes he excused himself and set out to find his fellow Warden. Hoping he would get at least some answers from the woman he was falling for.

OoO

Ashlyn sat up on the cliff by the windmill. She needed to be alone. All the death she had seen since the attack on Highever finally broke her down to the point all she wanted to do was cry. She was happy they had saved Connor, but it almost cost the mage Ori her life. It would have been on her shoulders since she was the one who decided to ask the Circle for help. Yet another life almost lost by her choices. Jowan had chosen to give his life for Ori's, but even his death weighed heavy on Ashlyn's heart. She hated all of this, the death, the war, and everyone looking to her to make things right. A strange hum sounded in her head and she drew her blades.

"Nice view isn't it?" She blew out a sigh of relief and sheathed her blades when she heard the soft voice of her fellow Warden.

"It is a lovely view."

"Wynne said Ori will be fine and Connor does not seem to remember anything that happened." Ashlyn kept her back to Alistair hoping he would just leave her after giving her the update. She did not want him to see the tears in her eyes. She did not want his comfort right now. All she wanted was to be left alone

"Good." She did not see him frown at her with her back turned. He let out a sigh and sat down next to her. She looked so lost, so fragile. He wanted to be at least a little mad at her that she did not trust him enough to tell him who she was, but the way she looked right now made his anger melt away.

"He chose to give his life Raven. It was him or Ori."

"What if he had not been here to take the demon on for her? We would have had two deaths instead of one."

"You could not have predicted what would happen. You made the right decision. If it had ended with both Ori's and Connor's deaths it would have been tragic, but at least you would have tried to save him. Without blood magic and Isolde's life. It is my fault you had to make that choice."

"How is it your fault?"

"I should have been the one who took the lead after Ostagar." Ashlyn took her mask off and turned to her side to look at him. "I put too much on your shoulders."

"I thought you said we would be still lost in the Wilds if you were leading us?"

"We would be, but at least you would not be beating yourself up about all this. Raven..." She put her fingers up to his mouth to hush him. All she wanted was silence to collect her thoughts. She had to tell him who she was, why all this had happened. Fear gripped her heart, knowing once he found out all of this was her fault. Tears slipped down her cheeks again and she bit her lip to stop from sobbing. She felt his fingers cup her chin to make her look up at him. "Hey now, none of that."

"Alistair I have to...Maker..."

"Have to what?" Ashlyn reached for her pack and untied her family's shield from it. The leather piece still adorned it's front, but after a few battles it was frayed. She took her dagger and cut the tattered leather away. The crest of Highever emblazoned on the front was now clear to see. She took the sword and unwrapped the scarf that covered the hilt's crest. "Let me guess you stole these when you ran from Highever?" Her eyes narrowed at him, but she held her tongue.

"No, my mother gave them to me so they would not fall into Arl Howe's hands." She took a shaky breath and looked up into his hazel eyes. He smiled at her and waited. "Both of these have been in my family for generations. My Grandfather used both in the war with Orlias and then my father took them up when he could no longer fight."

"So what are you trying to tell me?"

"I lied to Teagan when I said all the Couslands are dead."

"Why?"

"I did not want to put anyone in danger if Howe was still trying to hunt me down. He wants all my family gone so he could take our land. Then there is the whole thing of me running away from marrying your brother..."

"Weren't you a little young for him?" The warm smirk on the ex Templar's face made her feel a little bit more at ease.

"I was fourteen years younger and scared out of my mind. I know they would have had him wait to marry me so I could come of age. I was to be trained to be queen, molded into someone I did not want to be. I was also pledged to another and I cared for him very much."

"So you were already betrothed and they still wanted you to marry Cailan?"

"Yes, Nate...he never forgave me for it, even though it was not my choice. He told me he could not compete with a king."

"Who can?" Ashlyn let out a small bark of a laugh and leaned into Alistair. "So when I told you about me being Maric's bastard...you probably already knew then."

"No, I didn't. I never listened to all the gossip of court. I'd rather spend my days out in the training yards, then be put in a bloody dress and parade around. I'm a warrior Alistair, I want to die with a sword in my hands, not laying fat in a bed somewhere."

"I can tell that about you. So can I have the name of the lovely Lady Cousland or is Raven really your name?"

"Ashlyn, but of right now I would prefer this stay between you and I."

"So Raven it is then."

"I should have told you sooner..."

"I didn't tell you about me being Maric's son until we came here. I didn't want you to find out from someone else." Ashlyn looked up at him and smiled. The more she looked at him the more she saw his father in his features.

"You are a lot like Maric you know." Alistair narrowed his eyes and let out a low growl

"I am nothing like him!" He pulled away from her roughly, but stayed seated in the cliff's edge. Gently Ashlyn took his face in her hands and turned him back to look at her.

"Despite what you think of him, he was a good man and even good men make mistakes."

"If you call not keeping it in your pants a mistake..." Ashlyn sighed.

"I'm too drained to fight with you about this." She let her hands fall from his face and stood up. Her body ached and she could hear her bedroll calling her name. Alistair rose to his feet and followed behind her up the hill to the castle.

"Can I ask you one thing?"

"Ask what every you want. I owe you that much."

"Why do you hold Maric in such high regard?"

"When I was a child my parents use to bring my brother and I to all the stuffy parties in Denerim. I hated it and use to sneak away from the main ball room. One day I found myself in the King's private garden. I thought I was clever and no one would find me there, but I got caught by Maric. I thought he would be mad that I was stomping through the flower beds, but he just laughed."

"Why?"

"I was covered in leaves and dirt, my dress was ripped from climbing the oak tree in the center of the garden. I begged him not to tell my mother I had ripped my dress. She would have killed me. I think I ruined every dress she ever put me in til I was eighteen."

"I can't picture you in a dress, dancing at noble parties and acting all haughty." Ashlyn stopped walking and gave him a warm smile. "So what did the Great King Maric do?"

"He promised to keep my secret if I kept his." Alistair shook his head and gave her a questioning look. "He hated the parties as much as I did. He would always sneak away and sit alone in his garden thinking. After Queen Rowan died he said he lost the desire to put up with parties. So every time I came to Denerim he and I would sneak away and talk in the garden. He was a kind man, but sad. He never came out and said why he was sad and I always thought it was because of the queen's death. Now...now I think it might have been something else."

"Please don't say me or I will scream." Ashlyn rolled her eyes at her fellow Warden and rubbed the bridge of her nose.

"I wasn't so you don't have to scream. It was something he said the last time I saw him, a few weeks before his death. He told me that life is too short to let love slip through your fingers. Finding it once is rare enough. He said don't be like him and do what was expected of me just to appease people who would turn on you in a heartbeat. Follow your heart and never be afraid to take a chance."

"How many years did the two of you have these secret meetings?"

"I was fifteen when he died so...hm...over ten years. I was four almost five when he found me in the garden. I know you dislike him for what he did, but I do wish you could have known him."

"Why?"

"To get his side of things for good or ill. The man the rest of the country saw was far different from the man I would talk to. It was nice to see some people did not let a title go to their head."

"You hate other nobles that much?"

"Not all of them, but I have seen enough in court and out of it to know most would sell their first born to get ahead of the others. When I was with the guild I saw contracts from one noble to kill another or get dirt on them. It was a mess."

"All the more reason for me to not be king. I would be assassinated in a week."

"I wouldn't let them within a hundred yards of you Alistair. They would have to get through me first."

"Of that I have no doubt My Lady. So know that all of our secrets are out in the open where does it leave us? Your a noble and I'm a..." He hand covered his mouth not wanting to hear him call himself a bastard again. Both of them were so much more than what society pegged them as.

"We are Grey Wardens. The rules of nobility do not apply to us so I think it leaves us doing whatever we damned well please. You could be the king's son or a stable boy it still would not change how I feel. I lo...I have grown very fond of you."

"Just fond?" Ashlyn blushed and gave Alistair a quick peck on the cheek before running toward the castle stairs leaving him speechless. "Maker will there ever be a time I get the last word in with her?" Shaking his head he headed after her hoping for a good night's sleep.


End file.
